Silly Wolfy!  FLO NEVER uses money to buy thongs for ferret people.  It
uses it to buy flying saucers and teleporters.
 
People buy their own undies (or their honeys do).  Ferrets steal those,
too.  I think they sell them to underpants gnomes to get more money for
flying saucers.
 
Being an underpants gnome is a required apprenticeship for many later
U.S. corporate heads.  The business plan is:
 
1. Collect underpants
2. ???
3. Profit!
 
and knowing what is truly important to employees they even have a theme
song:
 
"Time to go to work, work all night
search for underpants, hey!
We won't stop until we have underpants
Yum tum yummy tum tay!"
 
Now just tell me you don't recognize any executives who cost their
employees their health insurance and pensions!
 
So:
1. Ferrets are not underpants gnomes.  They are smarter than underpants
   gnomes and rip them off.  (Sorry for the pun.  No, actually, I'm not.)
2. Ferrets do not buy underwear; they steal them to make a profit.
3. Ferrets buy teleporters and flying saucers.  Their source is unknown,
   but I think that DA accurately hinted at it being the dolphins in
   his historical manifesto, _So Long and Thanks for All the Fish_.
4. Ferrets arrived on Earth when it was flat.  They wanted a roundish
   Earth so they put bungee cords in the center of each side, held them
   in place with massive ice caps they created and pulled with the flying
   saucers.  Sprooooong!  Roundish Earth.  Just ask Alex.  She has been
   remorphed but is really descended from cats so has been given the
   Secrets of Slit Eye.
5  Dolphin made machinery has fewer repair needs than ferret made
   machinery.  They don't try to use thongs for fan belts.  Oh, yeah --
   that is another use...
6. When the ferrets unflattened the Earth it melted the core and began
   the motion which resulted in the Earth's magnetic field; this in turn
   protected the Earth from losing its atmosphere, allowing the ferrets
   to then create humans from other apes rather like Pan paniscus.  And
   now you know why so many men buy Playboys.  It is not for the
   articles.  If you don't understand then you need to read about Pan
   paniscus.  Had it been from Pan trolodytes the answer would have been
   "for the jokes".
7. The Flying Spaghetti Monster led the ferrets here.  Don't believe
   me?  Google on "Flying Spaghetti Monster" for part of the reality.
 
Now, is everything finally clear?
 
Can you pick out the truths?  That's okay.  Most people figure that they
"know" truth from hopes for a while.  Ever consider that ferrets may be
better at that than we are?
 
I BADLY need a Flying Spaghetti Monster t-shirt.  The shirt needs a
ferret in a flying saucer.  AND a flat Earth.  AND bungee cords.  AND
a refrigerator with a REALLY BIG ice maker as well as a snow making
machine.
 
'Nough said...   Maybe more than enough.  The ferrets may not like
that I discovered their historic records.
[Posted in FML issue 5024]