Condolences to those with lost, sick, or angeled silverware stashers...
 
(I got a fork!  Now my wedding collection is complete!  Ok, so it's only
a 'plastic' fork, but it's still a fork!)
 
Here is *my* take on ferret colors and health.  Remember, I ain't no
doctor, so this stuff probably doesn't mean a whole lot.  However, folks
in the Smokey Mountains (those with no phones, internet, or even actually
schools!) think my ideas are pretty good! :)
 
If your ferret is bright purple, something is seriously wrong.  Go check
the grape jell-o package in the cabinet.
 
If your ferret is a grayish-green, they need to get more exercise, as
they are starting to mold in place, like a sloth.
 
If your ferret has a bright red, blue or suddenly black face, find the
pen they've been chewing on and throw it in a trash can that they can't
get it back out from.
 
If your ferret is pooping red, green, blue and burnt umber, hide the
crayons.
 
If your ferret spits bubbles when she talks, hide the bath soap.
 
If your ferret seem to have a bright, filmy glow about them, find out
their name and give them the CORRECT address to go visit their lost
family.  Them angel ferrets can't read maps worth a darn!
 
If your ferret is half blue and half green, or if they have
red-and-purple racing stripes, or they are orange all over and have
stickers everywhere, they've been watching far too much NASCAR and they
found your children's finger paints.  Act accordingly.
 
If you have a ferret named Switch and another one named Lily, run.  Fast.
And take the spark plug out of the tractor on the way by, so they can't
chase you quite as fast!  Oh, and take your loving hedgehog with you.
You certainly don't want to leave it to any fate the ferrets might have
for it!
 
---
Todd and the Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns
 
mailto:[log in to unmask]
http://www.netconex.com/toddl/page2/
[Posted in FML issue 4801]