As you know (or should know), as a proud owner of both the Mathematica
and Statistica programs, not only can I not do simple math in my head so
I must resort to high-priced math programs, but I also LOVE statistical
analysis. I learned to love statistics when a beautiful woman once told
me that I would have to ask a thousand women out before one would say
yes. I knew at that point I would only have to ask another 999 women
out before I had a date, so I got cracking! I just love statistics!
I have already been asked numerous questions about Europe and their
ferrets, so I thought I would throw out some "factoids" before I settled
in for some more serious writing. So, from the pages of my journal,
enjoy!
Number of ferrets seen: More than 1000
Number of ferreters seen: More than 400
Number of ferrets seen biting ferreters: 4
Number of ferrets I held: nearly 200
Number of ferrets that bit me: Nearly 10
Number of ferrets that should have bit me for tickling their belly: 190
Number of ferrets seen in rut: 6
Number of ferrets that rummaged through my stuff: 29
Number of ferrets that rummaged through my stuff
and left rutting odor behind: 4
Number of ferreters or shelters visited: 18
Number of ferreters or shelters asking me to stop: 22
Number of ferreters or shelters asking me to stop AFTER
I left for Europe: 13
Number of Museums/collections contacted but not visited: 12
Number of Museums/collections visited: 8
Number of Museums/collections visited but I have to
return to Europe to finish: 7
Number of people asking me to eat at their home: 102
Number of homes visited: 33
Number of homes where I actually ate a meal instead of talking: 8
Number of foreign languages I can read (with a dictionary): 8
Number of foreign languages I can speak or at least stumble through: 3
(including my marginal ability in English)
Number of words I can pronounce in Danish, oops, I meant Dutch: 2
Coincidentally, the number of English words spoken to me by the French: 2
Number of languages I heard: 8
Number of languages in which I distinctly heard the "F" word: 8
Number of languages in which I distinctly heard the "G.D." phrase: 7
Number of languages in which I distinctly heard the "M" word (Marriage): 2
Number of auto trips: 25
Number of bus trips: 6
Number of train trips: 31
Number of plane trips: 4
Number of trips on Anja and Ernst's stairs: 112
Number of times I was late: 103
Number of times I was expected on time: 2
Number of times I was expected to be late: 102
Number of shocked faces when I was on time: 12
Amount of socks lost when in hotels: about 9
Amount of luggage lost when on airlines: definitely 4
Amount of dollars lost when converting to Euros: At least $500
Amount of film taken to Europe: 125 sheets 4x5 B&W, 40 rolls 120 B&W,
20 rolls 120 C, 100 rolls 35 B&W, 100 rolls 35 C
Amount of film shot: 80 sheets 4x5 B&W, 20 rolls 120 B&W, 12 rolls 120 C,
82 rolls 35 B&W, 61 rolls 35 C
Amount of film shot in the Red Light District of Amsterdam:
79 sheets 4x5 B&W, 19 rolls 120 B&W, 11 rolls 120 C,
81 rolls 35 B&W, 60 rolls 35 C
Number of cameras I took to Europe: 3
Number of cameras I used in Europe: 3
Number of cameras thought to be a terrorist device by airport
inspectors: 3
Number of different brands of beer sampled: 17
Number of different types of food sampled: 21
Number of different toilets visited: 38
Number of Lomotil tablets swallowed: 103
Days left in Europe when I ran out of socks: 14
Days left in Europe when I ran out of underwear: 12
Days left in Europe when I begged to borrow a washing machine: 5
First thought in a stranger's mind when they smelled rutting ferret on my
jacket: "Bad cologne!"
First thought in a friend's mind when they smelled rutting ferret on my
jacket: "Bad body odor!"
First thought in my mind when I smelled rutting ferret on my jacket:
"Cool, ferrets!"
Largest healthy ferret seen: Spain
Slenderest healthy ferret seen: The Netherlands
Most intelligent ferret seen: Hungary
Most beer-drinking ferrets seen: England (HA! On the Fursty Ferret Beer
label, sucker!)
Bob C [log in to unmask]
[Posted in FML issue 4715]
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