Hi! It's me the Pirate and I live at the Ferret Friends of Indian River
County Ferret Shelter.
I have gotten wonderful letters and Santa gifts for Christmas, but
couldn't talk because I had Surgery on the 15th of December. Today is
the 21st and I am feeling better! Am still a little weak but better.
My surgery (I was told) was really touch and go because my Tumor was
ENORMOUS. It was so big that they grabbed a cell phone and took pictures
(this is embarrassing as I was out cold -- boy you two leggers have a
sick sense of PRIVACY). Dr. Hermann said it was the biggest tumor he had
ever seen in a ferret and he's done several hundred Adrenal Surgeries!
The only good thing about the surgery was that just before I went I got
Santa presents to play with and sleep with. Then when I got home I had
NEW SOFT BLANKIES and other new stuff in my cage. I got to eat Chicken
and A/D and Ferretvite - boy it was and is wonderful. I get to eat the
Ferretvite every day! I have to go now cause I am tired so I'll let
the digger take over cause he promised that if 20 people he knew became
Santa's on the giving tree he would tell the Thanksgiving story about
shelter Mom (please note. Digger is crude, rude and I do not agree with
telling of shelter mothers humiliation. Thank you all for caring about me.
Signed Pirate here at the FFIRC Shelter
Now this here is a story I got to tell in case any other fuzzies out
there have been embarrassed by their shelter Mom and dad.
I am digger, head shelter ferret of the FFIRC. First all you young ones
should STOP READING this post right now.
It was Thanksgiving Day and shelter Mom (SM) woke twelve of us up at the
ungodly hour of 5AM. The SM announced we had to have play period from
5am till 2pm because then the new (pampered) Pirate had to go out and
play by himself, AND company was coming at 3pm for Thanksgiving dinner.
Now a little of topic but what in the heck was the SM doing serving
Thanksgiving dinner to guest? There are holes in the kitchen, holes
in the ceiling, the ferret play porch is totally destroyed, panels are
missing of the house and the house has holes from two hurricanes. Tell
me do responsible Shelter Mom's and Dad's invite people over for dinner
in a mess like that?
We were trying very hard to hide in our cages when awfulness struck.
Picture this - Our guess (who's name will not be given so he will not be
embarrassed as we were) is the equivalent of an FBI agent in Germany.
Very tall, very nice, and has flown at CGA (Dad's company) and known Mom
and dad forever. Well, he comes over for the dinner. (It is told by
some of the old guys here of Thanksgiving dinner two years ago when
this same guest was over for dinner; that as Mom was serving her famous
"Stuffing" it exploded at the table (oh GOD!) and hit the guest in the
face (the stuffing not the glass). What does the Shelter dad do? He
pronounces "we'll just pick the glass out and eat the good part" WHAT
is wrong with this Picture - humans eating stuffing after picking the
glass out. Oh the tragedy of that situation!!!)
Now Thankgiving Dinner 2004: the guest (the one hit by exploding Stuffing
in the 2002 incident) ask the Mom what we were having and when she said:
"stuffing", he ask "the exploding kind or the normal kind) When Mom said
the normal kind - the guest stood up and took off his Kevlar vest. Now
I heard this -- the Mom was laughing so hard she couldn't stop and had
to repair to the bathroom for a minute. What happened next was so awful
that I though old Whitey, and possibly Matthew were going to go into
heart failure right there in their cage! Fortunately for Pirate he was
in the play room and only found out about what happened from Brownie
(Brownie has a big mouth but is forgiven as he is my best buddy). Mom is
cleaning the table and we are all watching and salivating as we know that
we are about to get pulverized Turkey. The guest is watching the Mom as
she is preparing our treat and then to everyone (people and ferret alike)
Mom's pants fall down to her ankles and she is standing in the kitchen
but naked from the waist down except from some fancy sexy underwear! The
guest were in shock, we all hi tailed it into the nearest hidie hole we
could find (except me being head ferret and all). I watched in utter
amazement as she grabbed her pants to pull them up and proceed to get
caught and fall on the kitchen floor and our pulverized turkey flew in
the air and landed on the shelter Mom. There she was trying to hide on
the floor and pull up her pants with pulverized turkey streaming down
here hair!
Oh the humiliation, embarrassment, and now our lost pulverized Turkey.
Then what happens -- Mom, dad and the guests start roaring with laughter.
The next door neighbor (who has no kooth whatsoever) yells "Stop it, Stop
it, I'm peeing my pants"! If that wasn't enough Mom got her pants on and
with pulverized turkey all over her runs out of the house and we can hear
her laughing! By now all us fuzz kids are not only embarrassed but we
have to wait till Mom fix's more or the pulverized Turkey!
Thank heaven there will be no one here for Christmas Dinner. Dad decided
it was best to take the Mom out to dinner. Gosh we are all so glad we
won't have to see what the Shelter Mom does at the restaurant.
Finally thank you all who sent us the nice blankies for Christmas.
Digger "the leaping digger dude" of the FFIRC shelter
MERRY CHRISTMAS
P.S. I hope the other shelter mom's and dad's don't embarrass their
kids!
Thank you for supporting our shelter
Our Store; Creature Speak Creation is where we sell things to help the
shelter ferrets please visit us! ALL money goes right to the ferret
feeding, care, and Vet Services. We are modern we even take paypal!
<http://332.scifstore.com/>
Digger the Leaper Dude
Ferret Friends of Indian River County
8775 20th Street, Lot 614
Vero Beach, FL 32966-3065
A "NO KILL" shelter since January 1991
[Posted in FML issue 4734]
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