::Deep in the TN woods stands a woman clad in a midnight blue robe
surrounded by her ferret minions.  The seriousness of the meetings seems
to cling in the air.::
 
"All right, poppets, the wagon is in repair and getting lubed.  Dippy is
in search of some Bush beans for fuel, and Blacky is off to find more
Depends.  I think Rocky is working on a new hair ball.  Now what is in
order for today's meeting?"
 
::She smacks and crackles her gum as she chews with vigor.::
 
"Lets see what the cauldron tells us."
 
:: She drips ferretone throughout the bubbling solution in the pot and
with her staff gives it skillful swirl.  For a final touch, she
forcefully spits her gum into the cauldron with a loud "puh"!  Steam
rises, the bubbling quiets, and words begin to appear on the surface.::
 
"I feel so dizzy.  So much to see.  So many prophecies.  So ... dig it.
Take notes, poppets, because there is much to do.  You over there,
prepare for the flogging of Chris Matlick, Nicole, and Alicia for not
sending Happy Ferret Day cards (yet).  The nerve!  Laddie, you have a
very important job.  Show Kim Schilling how it's really done.  Locate
Wolfy and have her teach that girl how to soak it up in the limelight,
how to ham it up, and utilize it.  Must I show everyone everything?!  All
right, you over there, you two try to locate the rockin' kibble Zupreme
other than the stash we know about in the Petco's.  I want you to find
any and all avenues to obtain this golden nectar of kibble.  You, Rocky,
you're job is easy.  I know that you have uh, special needs is it?"
 
::She bends over and whispers into a cohorts ear,::
 
"That is what they call the duh-ferrets nowadays right?  I wanna be PC
and all that."
 
::The ferret giggles and nods.::
 
"I want you to check Yvonne's trash for ferrets so that they can take it
out today.  It's getting stinky.  You, Petey The Pooped On, locate the
Linda of Iroff, back up and poof on her."
 
"Why oh great one", he asks.
 
"Because, ... she is Linda, that's all!  You, the Seattle Seven, sneak
in on Lynda the Canadian Galloway while she is in the bathtub, steal her
Canadian beer, and bring it back to me.  Can't live on 'shine alone after
all.  Ut Oh, guard the remote control treasure of Veronica's.  Now, for
the rest of us, we're going to go snag that lady that would ever even
dream of building a round room.  There's goin' to be a snootching
tonight!"
 
The one and only,
The Great Robed One,
The Ferret Oracle.
[Posted in FML issue 4878]