Condolences to those who have lost, sick, or angeled stellar
cartographers...
 
(Hey, look!  There's *another* new star.  Us ferrets do make good
pictures in the sky at night!)
 
This is a pre-adoption report for Alexandra (and hubby)
Sargeant-Colburns, in regards to Ping, the Male Deconstruction Expert:
 
So...you got a MALE ferret.  And you are now learning just what kind of
trouble they can be, huh?  heheheheh.  HAHAHAHAHAH!  Snicker!  I've got
FIVE of them!  I've even got three GIRL ferrets that act like that!
Flying ferrets.  Levitating ferrets.  Ferrets that can go through (and
*into*) walls!  The cat trots through the living room, crying...there
is a ferret latched onto his tail.  I'm playing on the computer and
suddenly, a ferret appears on the computer desk...where ferrets are NOT
supposed to be able to get to.
 
Well, now you are in for it.  The hedgehog ain't safe, now.  Humiliation
is the *least* of his problems!  Your new one will do things, like walk
right up to the barrier and stick out his tongue at the little
spike-back.  He will...well...you know...right up again the barrier!  He
will call him names!  He might even throw NON-CULTURAL reading materials
over the barrier at him!  You should keep an eye on that pointy-sided
critter.  He may try to commit suicide by doing things like...oh...
holding his breath...or commit murder with them beady little eyes of his.
You can never tell what a "cultured" hedgehog can do!
 
As for Ping, well...according to Spazzie (he was trained in "weird
behavior" by Miss Spazzie-Girl, with assistance from Dancer.  His
intellectual education was conducted by Hershey, the smartest ferret
since Who-Dee-Knee.  Combat tactics were taught by Bump and Rhun and
"Sweet Looks" training was given by Chewy.  Jumping, flying and aerial
acrobatics were taught by Bonnie and Clyde and extreme speed maneuvers
were demonstrated by Jessica.), his training proceeded perfectly.  He
was here for about two weeks prior to your acquiring him.
 
Just so you know, I take no credit for anything he learned to do...well,
except for that little trick with driving the van...but you'll learn
about these things as time goes by.  Remember, there are no refunds.
Once we've trained a ferret, the fee is final!
 
P.S.  Bump taught him where and how to "wipe".  It took him almost an
hour to teach Ping the proper technique!  Bump is rather proud of that
lesson.  Oh, and my cat, Puffy, sends his condolences to the hedgehog.
It isn't that my cat really *likes* hedgehogs.  Its just that he knows
that no living critter deserves what is about to befall him.
 
Good Luck!
---
Todd and the Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns
 
mailto:[log in to unmask]
http://www.netconex.com/toddl/page2/
[Posted in FML issue 4846]