It was just like any other day at the Bridge for Muldoone, hanging out
with his buddies, having fun, seeing how much mischief he could get in to
and not get himself into any real trouble with the Big Boss.  Sneaking
around a bush and about to push one of his buddies into the 'Tone stream,
he heard the unmistakable voice of Nanna, a higher-up ferret who enjoyed
her job of keeping an eye on what the males were up to.
 
"Muldoone, where are you, come here this instant" and Mully's heart
skipped a beat.  Oh boy, wonder what dey habe found out dat I habe done,
did dey discober it wuz dat I switched da girls' snugglin beard or dat I
snuk out in da middle of da night and buried all da sox at Dirt Mountain,
or maybe dey found out about.......
 
"MULDOONE" he hears Nanna's voice again and he knew he better go find out
what was going on.
 
"Nanna, whatever dey says I did, I didn't do it, I swears, it not be me,
it musta been one of da odder fewets" he tries to explain.  "Muldoone,
you must really be in big trouble this time" Nanna tells him.  "The Boss
has decided to put you in the one spot here at the Bridge where He can
keep a close eye on you."
 
Awwww geeze Mully thinks to himself, what will it be dis time, standin on
the bank of da Gwavy Pond handing out face towels to da fewets to cwean
deir whiskers after getting out or will I habe to go wound wighting all
da candles for evening pwayers.  I just bet it will be a job wheres I
can't habe any fun.  Da Boss has it in for me, I knows He does.
 
"Muldoone" Nanna begins to explain, "we have an important job that
just became available and we need someone very important to fill the
position."
 
"But why me Nanna, why not some odder fuzzy dat gets into more twouble
dan me, er I means why not some odder fewet?"
 
"Because Muldoone, the Boss specifically asked for you on this, He thinks
you are just the ferret for job and that is why I came to find you, now
follow me."
 
Muldoone following behind Nanna as they walked along a well-worn path.
Wonder where we are going Mully thinks to himself and returned the
friendly greetings of his fuzzbutt friends they passed.  Geeze, how far
is she taking me he wondered as they finally reach their destination.
 
Arriving at the Gate, Muldoone sat down and looked around.  "Nanna, why
we be here, what does the entwance of da Wainbow Bwidge habe to do wif
me?"
 
"Muldoone, Nanna began, the Boss has decided this is where He wants you,
He has spoken and you must obey."
 
"But why Nanna, why me and not 'nother fewet, why not some odder fewet
dat would be more deserbing of dis job?"
 
"Muldoone, I don't know, I was told to bring you here and inform you of
your new job but I would not advise you trying to turn the position down,
you know how the Boss is once He makes up His mind about something and
for your information young man, I am responsible for you and your job
performance so don't you dare get me into problems with the Big Guy."
 
"But Nanna" Muldoone tries to object.  "No buts about it, it has been
decided" Nanna told him rather sternly.
 
"Otay Nanna, what do I habe to do?"
 
"Muldoone, do you remember what it was like for you when you arrived here
at the Bridge" Nanna asked.
 
"Nanna, I be scard, wast ting I 'membered I was twying to shove Mickeey
into dat ting da hooman-beans go to da bafroom in.
 
That's right Nanna agreed, you lost your footing and fell.  When you woke
up, you were here at the Rainbow Bridge.  Do you remember the nice ferret
who met you when you arrived?
 
Uh sort of Nanna, I be scard, not know what happen and where my familee
be but dat was a nice fewet dat gweet me when I gots here.
 
That's right Muldoone, and that is the job the Boss has decided He wants
you to do, you will greet the newcomers as they arrive.  You will be nice
to them, you will calm their fears and should any problems arise, you
will call for me to help you."
 
Muldoone thought for a minute and came up with a dandy idea.  "Nanna,
cans I charge dem to gets in?  If dey brings any toys or snacks cans I
ask for haf?" Cans I tells em dat dey have to pay me waisins to gets in
Muldoone asked excitedly?"
 
"M U L D O O N E" Nanna shrieked at him and her tail turning into an
instant bottle-brush, "you will do NO such thing!!  No ferret has to pay
to come across the Bridge, you will welcome each ferret as the y arrive
and help them to get settled, your job DOES NOT include trying to get
their raisins or anything else they bring."
 
Mully thought for a minute and then said, "Nanna I don't tink I am cut
out for dis job, I not be da sewious type."
 
"Muldoone, I am well aware of your lack of seriousness and your fondness
for fun and games; the chaos you created when you gathered up all the
ferrets' crochet eggs, taking them and delivering them to the cats at
the far end of the Rainbow, or the time you decided to switch the boys
pajamas with the girls' nightgowns; no male ferret was about to sleep in
a flannel nightgown with Cinderella on it and the girls refused to sleep
in pajamas that had cowboys on them, or the time you and your buddies put
lime Kool-Aid in the shimmerng pond and every ferret who put their faces
in the water came away GREEN from the neck up, so yes Muldoone, I am well
aware of your lack of seriousness as you call it.
 
But Nanna, Muldoone tries to interrupt,
"No buts about it young man, the Boss has made a decision and I don't
think He would take it very well if we were to tell Him He had made a
mistake.  Muldoone listen to me, Nanna began speaking in a softer tone,
"this is a very VERY important job, the Greeter at the Gates of the
Rainbow Bridge is a sacred position.  You were hand-pickedd by the Boss
although I can't imagine why Nanna trails off....Yes I too wondered when
He told me but I am sure He has His reasons.  The Greeter is the first
one the new arrival sees and for whatever reason Tte Boss recognizes
something special in you.  He told me Himself that He has a plan, He
has something very special in store for you so my advice is accept this
position and PLEASE don't get me into trouble by messing up.  I will be
with you at first helping you learn your new job, you won't be left
alone.
 
You pwomise to help me Nanna, Muldoone asks.
 
Yes of course I will be with you while you are learning the duties of
your new job.  Now, do you have any questions Nanna asked.
 
Just one Nanna, cans I wear my baseball cap?  Oh alright Nanna answered
him, just as long as you promise to do as I tell you.  Come with me,
Nanna says, while I get you acquainted with the rules, something I don't
think you have been all that familiar with in your life."
[Posted in FML issue 4580]