Condolences to those with lost, sick, or angeled stubble lickers...
 
(Hey!  Sit still.  Your five-o-clock shadow needs cleaning.  Sit STILL, I
say!)
 
What I have taught my ferrets over the years...
 
1) There is no feeling stronger than the bond between a loving
   ferret-caretaker and their ferrets.  Period.
 
2) No matter how bad your previous life had been, life as a Fuzzbutt
   Rodeo Clown can cure all evils.
 
3) Bite not, the hand that dispenses snacks!  No snacks for those who do!
 
4) Using the litter box is a GOOD thing.  However, newspapers put out for
   that purpose can be used, as well.
 
5) The cat is actually a self-propelled ferret toy.  Just don't tell him
   that!
 
6) Ferret barriers suck, but they are for your own good.
 
7) The items in the fridge are so wonderful, you stop breathing!
   However, they are MINE!
 
8) The medicine may taste bad, but the big guy has more persistence than
   you do!
 
9) Play with abandon.  I'll just sit back and enjoy the show!  Yes, I'll
   play with you, too, if you ask nicely!
 
10) I'm faster than you, so don't *even* try!  Whether you believe this
    or not, I'm actually smarter than you, too!
 
---
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[Posted in FML issue 4717]