Hoomins, it is I, Romeo, here to tell you that the grandest act of
passion in my life was not at all as it was chacterised in yesterday's
FML:
 
"This was an accidental mating."
 
So cold, so clinical, no.  Let me tell you of it, the flash and fire of
it, the stolen moments, I will treasure these memories all of my life.
 
It is true that I climbed atop my food dispenser, driven there and
halfway to madness by the alluring musk of my lady love Rosie, in her
playpen.  So near yet so far...my Rosie.  Dooking gently to herself.
In heat.  I could hear her, see her soft fur shining like silk, SMELL
her...I had to have her.
 
So I climbed, and I made myself in the shape of an arrow, and shot myself
across the divide between us, and straight to my lady love.  It is a lie,
a lie I tell you, that I "continued to jump until (I) was over the other
side of the playpen with Rosie." No, one leap, one bound brought me to
her!  Cupid's wings bore me up, and set me down next to her as gently as
a settling feather.
 
I looked into her deep, dark eyes, and she into mine...and I immediately
jumped onto her back.
 
Oh, she tried to dislodge me, coy vixen, but it was only a halfhearted
attempt.  I bit deeply into the fur of her scruff, and after the fashion
of my kind, knew one and three quarters of a second of the purest
rapture.  I heard Andalusian flamenco played on many stringed guitars
made from the most precious woods.  I saw the finest Chinese fireworks
climb into the sky and make the night into day.  Then she threw me off
and kicled me in the head.  Repeatedly.
 
But I did not care, no, this is the way of our love.  Fire, passion!
"Accidental mating", indeed!
 
DOT's SpitFire Mr. Romeo, father of five.  FIVE!
 
[Moderator's note: People's "adult" spam filters will be kept busy with
this post!  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 4819]