::As you peacefully, QUIETLY read your FML, you are interupted by a loud
  sound that resembles someone loudly giving rasberries::
 
"Over here Puppet.  So you thought you got me to go poof.  No such luck.
I've just been busy ... chasing those brats of Wolfy's.  What do we have
here?"
 
::The woman wearing a dark blue robe swaps the weeks worth of FMLs from
  your hands::
 
"Oh keeping these from me have we???  We'll see about that!  Hmmmf....
let's see, little girl named Ela here is having trouble with stray bucks
up East?  Those young ones never do know what to do with em.  First she
can't handle her packages now she can't handle her bucks.  Send em here
honey.  I"ll take care of em.  What do ya mean not that kind of buck?  Oh
for cryin' out loud.  You've got to be kidding me.  This Ela broad's got
problems.  BAM.  Fine, if they are those kind of bucks, I agree, send
them to BAM.  Next post.
 
"OKay we got a Todd.  There always is, ya know?  And he says he's a
plucker.  Well pluuuuuuuuuuck you, Todd!  A plucking plucker.  'I'm a
plucker, you're a plucker, wouldn't you like to be a plucker too...',
darn whiners.  We all got our problems ya know what I mean?  Sigh.  Next.
 
"What is this Wolfy sighting crap.  A book?  Come on!  I'll show Wolfy a
book.  The one they're gonnna throw at her when she gets arrested one day
for one of her public displays.  This Robin chick sounds like a stalker
if you ask me ...
 
"Here's an interesting post that asks what other pets we have besides
ferrets.  ::Pausing to crack her gum:: Well now, in this household we
have one smelly Scott, one little boy, one teenager, two aquatic frogs,
two ball pythons, one beta fish ..... and whatever Wolfy is carrying on
her person a the moment.  HA!
 
"Yadayadayada ... and lets see what else there is.  Well, it looks like
hypothetical Val has some hypothetical balloons?  I'm not kidding.  She
is asking about hypothetical laughter.  Hmm.  I think there should be
some added hypothetical hysterical ferret scenes.  Yeah.  Lots of footage
added.  Then you can ask for the costs, plus a few dollars.  So if
we're talking about a hypothetical 20 minutes of everything, maybe a
hypothetical eight dollars.  If you make it thirty minutes, then you're
talkin a real tape... and you could request more money.  But you know,
that's all hypothetical."
 
::Eyes come up over the papers and begin to gleam.  The papers lower, and
  a grinch like smile creeps acrossed the Oracles face.::
 
"Did I see.... Alex's name in here?  More than once?  Was she misfiring?
And did she even address you BIG?  Was she tawlkin' to you?  Because if
she was tawlkin to you...... ::She reaches over and grasps 'it'......
Wolfys' one and only gift to her husband this past Christmas.  Yes.  His
squeezie prostrate.  And with great satisfaction and aim, she wings it
over the papers and nails Alexandria..... beaning her right on the head.
It takes such a wild bounce, the Great Robed on is able to recover it
much like a great warrior recovers their boomarang::
 
The Oracle
[Posted in FML issue 4414]