I am at a crossroads as I write this.  My old girl Jessie is still
holding on.  I let her out and she did her best to play...but her body is
clearly not doing as she wishes.  She is tired.  I have been pondering
all day as to what to do for her.  I wonder at 11 years old if I should
just make her as comfortable in her own surroundings with me and her
biological sister and extended brothers and sister ferrets, or to take
her to the vet's office.  In a strange place where she will be prodded by
strangers and most likely pin cushioned for tests, where likely nothing
could be done...if it is her last amount of time... her breath is labored
and she is starting to turn yellow colors on her feet pads and nose..
still pawing at her mouth sporadically and grinding her teeth also
sporadically... I guess I should think that almost everyone would say
take her to the vet just to see what could be done!
 
I told her as much tonight.  It may be too late..but if she can hang on
I will take her in the morning.  I wonder if she will make it thru the
night... I wonder if I can subject her to what I mentioned above..  I
wonder if I am just selfish.  If it were me I would want a comfortable,
familiar place surrounded in love if I were sick and aged.  I just don't
know what to do.  Jessa will be my first personal loss of my 9
furrbabies.
 
I guess if were the others of lesser age I would take them...no questions
asked...I am just at a loss as to what I should do.  Maybe God will make
the decision that I will have to live with....better or worse ...for me.
I am tortured by the indecisiveness of me and what the cost of it may be.
[Posted in FML issue 4257]