Q: "What is... let's say a 70% solution to feeding bones?  By that I
    mean, what is something easy enough to do that *anyone* could do it?"
 
A: I would buy some chicken wings, necks, and backs, drop them in boiling
water for 5-10 minutes, and then allow the parts to drain.  Once drained,
I would place each piece of chicken into an individual sandwich-sized
ziplock bag, and then freeze the entire batch.  Two or three times a
week, I would take a chicken part out, thaw and warm it in the microwave,
chop it into a couple of pieces, and give it to the furbutts.
 
The only problem is convincing the floor monkeys that real chicken is
good to eat.  If the ferrets are olfactory imprinted, they may turn their
nose up at the offering.  You can try to get the guys hooked on chicken
baby food FIRST, which isn't very hard if you DAILY wipe some in their
mouths.  THEN, you can use a hammer to smash the bones in the chicken
parts, and then chop it up (try cutting it into small pieces with poultry
shears).  Dip small pieces of the chopped chicken into chicken baby food,
and then place it in the ferret's mouth.  It may take some time, but
sooner or later they will catch on that chicken is good food (for some,
probably later).
 
Q: "...If I rinsed off the hot sauce from the remains of some Buffalo
    Wings would those be OK?"
 
A: Buffalo wings are generally baked, which is a form of dry cooking.
Dry cooking makes bones harder, increasing the chances of splintering,
which worries many people.  However, the cooking time for wings is much
shorter than for thick chunks of chicken, like breasts, so the increase
in hardness is minimal (if you can chew the bone, so can a ferret).  From
MY experience, ferrets don't usually eat the splintery parts of the bone,
preferring the softer, nutrient-filled bone ends, so the point is fairly
moot, but if it worries you (or your vet), skip them.  I'm not sure the
sauce has to be washed off if your ferrets like the taste; it won't hurt
them any more than it hurts you (Tui LOVES jalapeno-flavored snacks!).
From my experience, ferrets like to hide their bones; I'm not sure I'd
want sticky buffalo wing bones collecting dust around my house.  Yuck.
 
Q: "What kind of cooked chicken bone can I give [my ferret]?  I don't
    know if he'd eat it, but I'd try."
 
A: Personally, I prefer necks, backs (actually, the synsacrum- -a
combination of fused lower back and pelvis), wings, drumsticks, and
thighs.  Necks are full of meaty bones, and the bone is primarily
trabecular so it doesn't splinter.  Backs have some bone formed into
sheets, but nothing that would splinter.  Backs generally contain the
kidneys--an excellent treat for ferrets.  Wings have small bones, but
ferrets seem to handle them well enough.  The bones in the drumsticks
and thighs are large, so while they are long bones, they are so big that
ferrets usually don't eat the splintery middles, concentrating instead
on the tissue-filled trabecular bone on the ends.
 
Q: "I would also like to know what happened in the few cases where it
could be confirmed that the actual cause of death {of ferrets} was by
bone and if possible what where the circumstances that allowed the
problem to happen so maybe it can be prevented?"
 
A: I know of NO published, peer-reviewed report of ferrets dying from
eating bone.  I know of NO independent necropsy (post-mortem) report
that confirms a ferret's death from eating bone.  I have collected a
few trustworthy stories of injuries (trustworthy being a relative term --
most of the reports are unconfirmed), and a couple of reports of death
(not a single one confirmed by necropsy).  Reading the reports are
essentially worthless; each report represents a "mistake" having no
pattern or correlation to bone consumption or feeding.  Roll a pair
of dice a million times, and the chances are good you will roll six
snake-eyes in a row, but you can never predict when the run will occur.
The problems from eating bone are similar because injuries represent
"mistakes" and are random and unpredictable.  That is the nature of
risk; regardless of the actual probability of injury, it is possible any
individual could experience a mistake.
 
I never said feeding bone was without risk.  All I have ever said is
the risk is minimal and worth the benefits.  Ferrets love chewing bones,
they will actively seek them out for chewing (once they realize bones
are food), and bones supply them with stress relief, important
micronutrients, and minerals.  I've weighed the pros and cons, and have
elected to feed bones to my ferrets.  NOT ONE has EVER had a problem.
Your ferrets MIGHT have a problem.  You'll have to weigh the risks and
benefits on your own.
 
Bob C
[Posted in FML issue 4173]