Once upon a ferret time, not dhat long ago, dhere was a brave police
ferret named Pherit.  He was da best police ferret in da hole wide
world.  He even caut a theif.  He did, he really did!
 
Okay, heres how it happened.
 
Pherit and his hooman policeman went to a house were someone had stoled
somedhin.  Da house was a mess!  Dhey had ta step over clothes, boxes,
food, and sooo much junk.  Pherit was worried about gettin lost.  But of
course he was more worried about losin his hooman police partner Matt.
Matt, like most hoomans get lost more dhan dhey dhink.
 
Dhey got to da kitchen where the hooman was standing dhat had called in
da crime.  He a funny look guy.  All people funny lookin though.  Oaky,
dhis guy had no hair on his head.  So Pherit guessed we could call him
rat head.  Hee hee.  And and, he had dhis big fluffy belly.  Bet he would
be great for jumpin off of!
 
Dhis guy said dhat he don't know how his house got so messi.  Pherit tole
him cause he a slob.  But dhat not go over too well.  So Pherit wander
through house though he not know what he lookin for.  He start puttin
dhings away where they should go.  Dhen Matt came over and tole him dhat
dhey now know what dhey looking for.
 
He said dhat da rat head man had a very important package delivered da
odher day and now it missin.  He said dhat he dhink he know how did it.
Da Rat Head Man said dhat it was a ferret.  Can you imagine, a ferret
stealin something!  Dhat not nice.  Dhey always pick on ferrets.  So
Pherit get mad and want to storm off but he can't.  He has a great job
ta do and he gonna prove dhis rat man wrong.
 
Pherit start lookin for clues as ta what really happened.  Da first dhing
he noticed was da window was open and dhere was no screen on it.
 
Now dhat just plain silly.  Any one could get in here and take stuff.
 
Da next dhing he saw was dhat da frig was open.  Dhere was a half eaten
tuna sandwich, empty milk jug, full package of chocolate candy and some
soda cans dhat had been nocked over.
 
In da livin room he didn't find nonthin strange except dhat it was a
mess.  He checked da odher rooms but no see anything.  So he go outside.
 
He go over to window where screen is gone and see it layin on da ground.
It is ripped up a little but not too much.  He also see some tracks.
Dhey kinda look like big ferret prints but it couldn't be.  Ferrets don't
steal.  So he keep lookin.  But he no find anything.  Pherit getting
upset.  So he take a walk.
 
He got about 2 blocks away and saw an empty box with Rat heads address
on it.  But da box empty.  So he start lookin around for more clues.  He
sees a park across da street so he goes and checks it out.  In the sand
box dhere a digging marks.  He also sees some fur.  Da fur is a dark
color and too hard to tell what type of animal left it dhere.  Suddenly
he hears somedhing in da bushes=85 A bunch of cats come and chase him out
of da park.  He know dat he could beat dhem up but he not in da mood.  He
gotta figure dhis case out and prove dhat ferrets not steal.
 
Pherit went home and climbed in his hammock for some rest.  He thought
and thought about who could have done it.  Everydhing pointed to a
ferret.  But he not know a ferret dhat bad.  All ferrets are good.  He
just knew it couldn't be a ferret.  No way.  So he start lookin at da
evidence but not see anydhing.
 
A couple hours later he figured it out!  He called Matt and tole him ta
meet him at da Rat Heads house.
 
Matt was already dhere when Pherit arrived.  Matt confused and not know
how Pherit solved it with no clues.  Pherit tole him dhere were clues all
over da place, he just had ta look.
 
First he said dhat da screen was outside and had some small scrapes on
it.  But it had fallen out of da window with da thief on it cause he was
too heavy.  Once inside da thief got hungery and tore da house up lookin
for food.  He finally found some in da frig and ate some of the tuna
sandwich and had some milk ta drink.  Dhen he saw da package on da floor
and decided that it must be important cause it all wrapped up pretty
like.  He took it and went out da window.
 
Da thief then went to da park down da street and opened the package and
left the empty box dhere.
 
Matt said dhat was great but dat didn't rull out anyone.  Pherit had ta
explain more cause humans not as smart as us ferrets.
 
He said that a ferret wouldn't have been to heavy for da screen.  A
ferret would have cut da screen up and come in dat way.  Next, a ferret
wouldn't have tore da house up lookin for food cause all ferrets know
dhat food is kept in the big cold box dhat humans call a frig.  A ferret
would have left da tuna alone cause we don't eat fish, and milk only
makes us sick.  However, a ferret would have eatin da chocolate cause we
can't resit it.
 
Next, a ferret wouldn't have taken da hole box.  He would have opened da
box and taken what was in it out -- and dhen taken da box.  Da ferret
would have also gone out another way, not use da window again.
 
Lastly, a ferret would not have gone to da cat park which is located just
a couple blocks down da block.
 
Matt still looked lost, so Pherit tell him who took it.  It was a cat.
Mostlikly the leader of da pack.  All dhey have to do is bring dhem in
and question dhem for a bit.  Hold some tuna over dhere head and dhey
will talk.
 
Matt so happy he start dooking!  A human trying to dook -- can you
imagine just how funny dat looked!
 
Ok -- Dhat was storie number 4 right?  You like da stories?  I hope so.
 
I make dhis one really long cause it's been awhile.  I have to catch up
on stories now.  Ms. Cookie tole me dhat $1050.00 has been raised for
ADV.  I can't believe it.  You humans are da best (well, after us ferrets
of course).
 
Oh oh-- and I even got mi own email account!  I special now.
 
If you haven't sent your money to Ms. Cookie hurry!
Judy Cooke  (Ms. Cookie)
851 Burnt Pond Road
Ostrander, Oh  43061
 
****Make checks payable to 'University Foundation'.*****
 
You can check dhis site out ta watch the money grow.
http://www.geocities.com/imdella/4th.html
 
Tootles,
Pherit
[Posted in FML issue 4209]