Condolences to those with lost, sick, or angeled starch peanut packers...
 
(But I *can't* fit another starch peanut in my mouth...honest!)
 
Ok, my name is Todd and I'm an animal hoarder.  Ok...so I'm not hoarding.
They just seem like a hoard.  I still fail to see how four ferrets
playing, can act just like there are actually 15 to 20 ferrets (What???
He's got 15 to 20 ferrets?????  Someone call the Humane Society!  He's
got way too many ferrets!  What will he feed them?  How often can he
*possibly* take them all out to dinner and a movie?  Wait...he said it
only *seems* like 15 to 20 ferrets.  Does he actually have *more*???
Drag him down the middle of the street!  Throw him into a pool of boiling
coffee!  Let ferrets nibble on his toes!  Wait...he said they only *act*
like 15 to 20 ferrets.  Is he making them act in a play?  Will they have
to hold a skull and recite poetry?  Which ones will have to dance and
sing?  Will they be allowed enough time to take naps?  What if they get
scared of all the bright lights?  Do they belong to the actor's guild?)
without actually trying very hard.
 
Multiply this by three different play groups...all of which play like
they are a herd of buffalo (he's got buffalo in his house?  Will they
step on the ferrets?  What about the grazing...will they graze on the
ferret's food?  How about Indian hunting parties?  Will the parties have
little pointy hats and snacks?  Do buffalo really have wings?), each
time they race through the living room.  They don't give the poor cat a
minute's peace (oh look, he allows the cat to be tortured!  How mean he
is!  How can we allow this?  Shoot him with rock salt!  Why does he
allow the ferrets to play with the cat while he is working?  Does the
cat play with the ferret toys?  Does he eat ferret snacks?  Have they
been medically tested to be approved for cats?  What does a cat talk
with ferrets about?) thundering along the carpet.  They have really good
four-footed brakes, though.  They'll be racing through the kitchen and
stop on a dime to take a drink from the water dish.  Then they do a
cartoon run (feet spin like mad, but the ferrets just stands there, going
nowhere), get a grip and shoot into the other room.  Dishes rattle, pots
and pans shake, somewhere upstairs a piece of furniture falls over.  All
from critters that only weigh a few ounces.
 
Overall, I think they are a bad influence on my cat.  He's begun to steal
catfood from other cat dishes at other houses.  He's...become...A CAT
BURGLAR!
 
Todd and the Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns
 
 ...and a cat.
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http://www.netconex.com/toddl/page2/
[Posted in FML issue 4076]