I'm not really a doctor, but after reading about the love and loss that
all ferret owners go through (and since I'm a new ferret owner, I haven't
had the misfortune of going through the loss part), I've come across a
few diseases that all ferret owners experience.  Most can be treated, but
regardless of the strength of your immune system, you will be afflicted
by these diseases.  How is this possible?  Who knows?  Perhaps they are
immediately transmitted to your body from the moment you touch that
little bundle of fur.  They then lay dormant until certain environmental
stimuli activate the diseases.  The following is a list of common ferret
owner diseases, symptoms, and treatment options that I have researched.
 
1)  "Wantaferretosis"
 
CAUSES: This is a common disease that afflicts grieving ferret owners.
Much of the time (not always), this disease accompanies another
well-known ailment called "Missmyferretitis" (see below).
 
SYMPTOMS: the need to have a ferret despite the pain owner feels for the
dearly departed.  Symptoms usually intensify when in the company of
furkids that are not part of the infected's family.
 
TREATMENT: immediate relief is found by adopting a new ferret.
Unfortunately, the disease cannot be cured.  Take caution as this disease
can be contagious to unsuspecting owners.
 
 
2)  "Missmyferretitis"
 
CAUSES: Another common disease that infects grieving ferret owners.  This
disease occurs only when a ferret makes the long journey to the bridge.
More severe than "Wantaferretosis", as it causes greater discomfort.
 
SYMPTOMS: overactive tear ducts, accompanied by fond memories and a
feeling of loss.  While physical pain is rare, emotional pain is typical
for patients.
 
TREATMENT: most patients find relief in memories, pictures, stories,
and good friends.  This disease is not curable.  While symptoms can be
treated, most patients experiences relapses for the remainder of their
life.
 
 
3)  "Ferretoma"
 
CAUSES: This disease occurs when ferret owner incessantly talks about,
laughs at, or worries over his/her ferret.  Laughter usually results from
war dancing, silly habits, or bottle brushing.
 
SYMPTOMS: dry mouth, aching stomach, headache, tense jaw, shortness of
breath, uncontrollable bladder urges.
 
TREATMENT: there is no known treatment on file for "Ferretoma".  The
disease is incurable.  Some symptoms can infect other people (ferret
owners and non-ferret owners), particularly laughter.
 
If you have found other diseases that infect humans because of their
ferrets, please share them.
 
Thanks,
Stephanie Gilbert
 _____________________________________________________________________
Stephanie Gilbert * TriFL VP/Events Chair/Librarian *
work: (919) 962-1355 * http://www.trifl.org * http://Kittlen.tripod.com
[Posted in FML issue 4018]