>But before we go and judge the therapist, ask yourself and answer
>yourself honestly - will you not tell her because you are afraid of
>being judged and rejected, or because she really will react that badly?
>I'm betting it's the former.  That's no condemnation, not at all; it's
>just another self-discovery step.  I would say to you, and to your
>friend, confront your therapists with that very fear.  Don't wait until
>a ferret passes to clam up, go to your therapists right now and tell them
>that you're afraid that WHEN a ferret passes, you will be depressed but
>will be afraid to tell them about it for fear of being judged." --Roger
 
Roger this is great advice.  I never would have thought about it.  It's
great advice for all us who are already in counceling of some sort or
another already.  I will surely take it and act upon it.
 
And yes, you are right, surely with most people, the doctor would not
judge us... it's our own fear of opening up.  Why?  Well, look at our
day to day exchanges with friends and even family.  How many times have
ferret people said to me in person or in email, "people think I'm nuts
because I am so upset over my ferret being sick, dead, etc"  Its daily.
These people aren't bad friends or bad family members.  They just aren't
animal people, and don't understand us.  If they are, they can't imagine
how a ferret can mean as much as a dog or horse to someone.  Ya know?
So why, would a doctor be any different?  I gotta tell you, most of them
are intellectuals.  in my experience many intellectuals are not animal
people.  But, let me correct something, I said in my original post.  I
have thought about this all very much in recent days.  I think even if
the doctor, does not understand your grief and passion towards your
ferrets, or even is a little judgemental... does not mean they can not
skillfully help you.  Does the psychotherapist need to be skitzophrenic
to treat a skitzophrenic adeptly?  No.  So I think any doctor, that's
worth a damn, could still help someone through such grief very
skillfully.  I feel this way even if they don't come from a culture that
does not treasure animals the same way as I might, and even if they are
not animal people.  I think mine, and a lot of people who feel paranoid
about how professionals would view our grief, is indeed our own
insecurities.  I feel they are valid feelings, given our experiences.
But I feel as if you are right, Roger, we need to ignore those little
voices there trust a good doctor and move on to wellness.  :)
 
Wolfy
 
Wolfy's site has MOVED to:
http://wolfysluv.jacksnet.com/
[Posted in FML issue 4055]