:: One stary, crisp night you are walking outside looking at the wonder
of all the Christmas lights.  You are enjoying the peace and QUIET when
you think you hear something from a far.  Frozen in the mid-stride, you
look about and cock your head to try and hear the sound better.  It
becomes obvious that it is coming from way up above.  In the sky dotted
with sparkling, jeweled stars, you see something ... odd.  It disturbs
you that something out of place is in such a perfect scene.  And it's
getting louder.  What the heck is that?  Wait!  It's red... flying in
the sky and a jolly "hohoho" seems to be echoing in the air.  OH my Gosh,
it just can't be.  Especially so early.... Santa??::
 
"Ho-HO-HA puppet!  It's better than Santa ... it's meeeeee, your beloved
Ferret Oracle.  I had to zip right on here in my red radio flyer wagon
with Harrier capabilities (thank you Sukie) fueled with Bush Beans (thank
you Lynda), and filled with Depends (thank you all of you).  I just had
to share"
 
::You wished she didn't.  Looking all about you look for an out.
Anything, to escape this crazy and annoying presense.  But you are
stuck.  You are alone and at her mercy::
 
"Puppet you looked worried.  Nay!  Take heed ... do not despair... the
Great Robed One is here.
 
::With a great forcefullness she spits her gum into her hand, slaps her
other hand right on top of it, looks at you and winks, then raises her
hand up and examines the remnants of the chewed up and now squished blob
in her hand::
 
"Oh this is really something, I have got to tell you.  Great things
abound for Christmas.... this is a sign that I must examine further
before I share with you.
 
::She then a great flick, flings the gross blob out her hand onto the
ground without care, and wipes her hands on her robes.::
 
What I'm really here for, is to tell you about my premonition.  Yes.
About a jolly little man that lives in an apple.... ooor a great apple...
or was it the "big apple".  Anyway this rotund, baby faced little man
dedicates hours a day to this list for our ferret community.  He is here
sick, good days, bad days, bombing days, and holidays.  Anyway, I saw
this ... Big in the Big apple... that's what the premonition told me
anyway... working away for us all.  And then his computer almost
explodes, puppets.  Yes... as he is working his computer begins to smoke
as it is overcome with cards, emails and well wishers.  It was scary,
puppet.  But the apple man was not scared.  He was excited and happy.  I
thought it all a little puzzling... and wondered if you knew what it all
meant?  I mean "Big in a the Big Apple"??  I mean what the heck?!
 
::She looks all in her robes for more gum, finds some sanitary napkins
and depends and flings them about, but no gum.  Casually and she walks
over and bends down to pick up the old gum she had carelessly thrown
away... and pops it back into her mouth joyfully.::
 
Well, I've given you this message, I don't know what it all means, but
maybe you do?  So, in anycase, I've got to run.  I zoomed out here with
out my ferret pals, they are all sleeping and getting fat for the winter.
I need to get back and tend to them.
 
Bye!
 
::Relieved that she is finally leaving (because what would the neighbors
think if they saw you talking to this nut in a long robe in the night?),
and grateful to get back your peace and QUIET.  But you begin to walk
off with a smirk on your face, because you very well know what this
premonition was::
 
Wolfy
 
Wolfy's site has MOVED to:
http://wolfysluv.jacksnet.com/
 
[Moderator's note: Somehow, explosions in the big apple don't elicit a
whole bunch of calm thoughts.... BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 4003]