I apologize to the original questioner for the delay in answering.
Q: "I am feeling very sad over the loss of [my ferret]... I know you have
lost alot of ferrets, how do you cope with all the sadness?"
A: One of the problems of ferret loss (ANY pet loss) is that many people
have the perception that somehow the loss of a pet is unimportant
compared to the loss of a human. Several recent studies suggest
otherwise, recognizing the bonds between a pet and an owner often exceed
those of some family members. Many people are afraid to express the full
extent of their sorrow because they are afraid of hurtful comments,
especial those that include the phrase "but it was only an animal..."
Rather than writing about issues already better described elsewhere,
I suggest you visit the Delta Society and read their material on the
subject. They have an excellent site regarding the bonds between humans
and pets, benefits, and personal loss. They can be found at:
http://www.deltasociety.org/
In the meantime, here are some suggestions that might be of value.
1. Recognize the loss of a ferret can have tremendous emotional impact,
as great or greater than that of close family members; resist the
temptation to feel shame or guilt for having such powerful feelings.
2. Do not try to deny the grief process, but rather accept your grief as
real.
3. Actively seek comfort from other people who share a love of ferrets
or animals.
4. Do not allow others to try and influence your grief process--there is
no timeline for grieving and each person's needs and time are relative to
that person.
5. Create a memorial book, writing stories about your ferret, adding a
lock of fur, photos, pawprints, noseprints, and other objects that bring
positive reminders of the joy and love felt between the two of you.
6. It might be helpful to create some type of memorial for your pet,
accepting that for some a memorial includes burial rituals, curation of
cremated remains, the donation of the remains for scientific or medical
purposes, or as simple as a favorite photo displayed in a loving fashion.
7. It is ok to get another ferret, or a pet of another species, once you
feel it is appropriate; it is NOT a betrayal.
8. Do not underestimate the impact of a lost pet on a child.
9. Do not hesitate to seek the help of a therapist if your grief is
prolonged, overbearing, or causes prolonged depression.
10. For me, ferrets symbolize joy; try and honor the joy they brought
into your home.
I am sure other members of the FML can add positively to this list, or
offer other helpful suggestions.
Bob C
[Posted in FML issue 4048]
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