I know I posted about this earlier, but I really need to vent.  I feel
like a rotten ferret mommy.  I read a few things about chordomas - I am
assuming that's what he has - and one statement I read that they can be
very painful once they start growing.  His used to be the size of a small
pea, but here lately it has ballooned to the size of my thumbnail.  It
wasn't until I read this that I made the connection to the fact that he
has been whimpering for no apparent reason lately.  I even discussed the
whimpering with John.  But we didn't do anything about it because he
would always stop right away, we knew he was going to the vet for shots
within the month, and I thought that if something was wrong he would be
crying, not just an occasional whimpering.  But in the year we've had
Jasmin, I've NEVER heard him cry.  Or scream, or anything that wasn't a
happy sound.  He has taken small tumbles once in a while, but unlike the
other two he has never complained or even come running to me; he just
acts like it is no big deal.  So I should have figured sooner that for
him to be whimpering he had to be in pain.  Even typing that last line it
sounds idiotic to me.  I could kick myself for taking a few weeks to come
to a conclusion that should have been immediately obvious.  I don't think
a chordoma is a serious issue, but I hate the thought of him having been
in pain and telling me he was, and I didn't pay attention.
 
Sorry this is so long, but I just needed to get this off my chest.
 
Shannon (feeling really guilty)
Sterling, Pandora, & Jasmin (who's surgery is scheduled for Wednesday -
please pray - I am nervous about the anesthesia)
[Posted in FML issue 3870]