Condolences to those with lost, sick, or angeled wallet wranglers...
 
(Quick!  Sumbuddy get the fone and call Pizza Hut...I gotz his wallet!)
 
Nicole Thorpe mumbled something about:
>Well, all will be fine until Daisy come over and starts licking my hand.
>Yeah, I thought it was sweet too.  Until, with no warning, tries to take
>a chunk out of my hand!
 
Unfortunately, you're misinterpreting what is happening here.  You are
assuming that the licklicklick deal is a sign of affection.  It isn't.
It's a prelude to a kiss--with the fangs!  It is a habit of many ferrets
to prepare the intended bite-site by licking it several times, first.  I
think *they* think that their tongues have tenderizer on them or
something.
 
Anyway, your best bet to stopping her from biting, is to interrupt the
behavior before it gets painful.  You *know* you are going to get bitten.
It's a foregone conclusion.  Therefore, you have to show your superior
intelligence and stop her before she can bite.
 
What this means, is that you have grab her the moment she starts the
licking process (yes, I know you think it's cute and that she is giving
you 'lovin', but it isn't and she isn't), lift her up so you can see her
eye-to-eye and say loudly and firmly "NO BITE!" Stare at her for several
seconds and put her down.  WATCH HER CAREFULLY to see what she does next.
If she heads for an ankle or wrist, wait until she starts to lick and do
the same thing with the eye-to-eye and firm command thingie.  Repeat as
necessary.
 
The thing that most of us forget, is that ferrets have a brain the size
of a peanut.  We have a much larger brain and can figure things out much
faster and to a much-greater degree than a ferret.  We are also (when we
put our mind to it!) much faster than a ferret.  That means we should be
able to recognize a pattern in a ferret's behavior and react before they
get to the conclusion of that pattern.  If you know that a wasp landing
on your arm is more than likely going to get you stung, you tend to move
your arm before it can land on it, right?  It works that way with
ferrets, too.
 
For those of you with the problem of a ferret staring you right in the
eye and pooping in a non-poop place, this also works.  Immediately rush
over to the ferret, pick them up and put them where they need to be.  You
may not be successful the first few times, as they will probably continue
the process as you are moving them.  However, if done enough times, they
get the point and will be less-likely to use the wrong area.  Not always
successful, but then, that is what keeps us on our toes, eh?  (That was
for the Canadian ferrets out there!)
 
Todd and the Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns!
 
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[Posted in FML issue 3896]