I can't thank everyone that sent cards and notes enough for taking the
time to be so thoughful to me at this time.  You will never know how much
appreciation I feel for those that took their precious time to be so
sympathetic to me.
 
When the vet did the necropsy, he said that Gizmo's lung collapsed due to
trauma they found.  There were two tears on the diaphram and some muscle
damage that was healing.  He said this looked consistent with a dog
attack, except no break through the skin.  Gizmo has never gotten out,
never has had dealings with a dog and is confined to a ferret proofed
room when not in his cage.  I asked if he could have had this damage due
to another ferret, or a human stepping on him or throwing him etc.  I
know this will not change the outcome, but I just have to know.  He said
these were not possible and maintained it was consistant of a dog biting
the diaphram and doing damage.
 
After much thought last night, my husband and I wondered if it could have
been done by the couch.  I called the vet the next morning and told him
Gizmo several months ago before we covered the couches, dug a hole and
would get in the couch.  We being scared of him eating couch foam would
have to pull him out of a tight sapce to get him out (he was deaf and
would not respond to a bell or squeak toy) I thought maybe we caused the
damage pulling him out ( Oh my God...could we have ultimately killed our
baby) He said it was possible that a blunt end from a spring could have
torn the diaphram but not pierced the skin when we were pulling him out.
 
I pray I have not contributed to Gizmo's death, but it is very possible.
This has just compounded the pain of the this.  How do you live with the
fact that you may have killed your own baby by actions you took.  How
will he ever forgive me?  They are sending his tissues off along with
the lung and I pray I get some other kind of answer back or I will feel
liable for this and don't know if I can bear the guilt of that on top of
just losing him .
 
Please give your babies a kiss...you never know when they will be taken
from us too young,
 
Lynn Barker
[Posted in FML issue 3891]