Here's what I call my group, along with a little history on each one.
When Nikita was alive they were collectively known as the Sensational Six
or the Goof Troop.  Now they're the Fabulous Five.
 
Nikita (waiting at the Bridge): was known as Nikki, Nikki-Nikki,
Nikki-kita, Nastinka, Nikki-keedy.
 
Dante, my silver man, has always been his own guy, has never much liked to
be held or cuddled.  He'll follow you around and see what you're doing,
even climb up on the couch and sit next to you companionably, but if you
try to snuggle him, he struggles to be put down.  He just doesn't have
time for cuddling!  Things to do, people to see.  The only time I ever got
to snuggle him was the night he went into shock following surgery, and had
to be cradled on a heating pad all night, wrapped in a blanket.  He is the
sweetest boy I have, wonderful disposition and temperament.
 
He's known as Dante-Man, Mr. Man, Mr. Man-cuso, Dante Hicks (fans of
"Clerks" gimme a "Hell Yea!")
 
Dusty, my rescue boy.  Dusty lived with a girl who kept him in a bare wire
cage and fed him cat food and fruit loops.  I got him from her when he was
only about 6 months old, a big scared boy who bit any part of a human that
came near him (the girl's dad used to toss him down the celler stairs into
the dark basement for "fun" and the girl used to let her Scottie play with
him and grab him by the back and shake him).  Dusty had some paralysis
of his hind legs from back injuries, but developed a funny little
stiff-legged hop to compensate.  He's now 5, and he is my baby.  He still
bites strangers, but not me.  I kiss his little face every day and remind
him how much I love him.
 
He's known as Dustbuster, Dustman, Dustin Flaybog, and Grimple.  (Grimple
because I was watching a Springer episode one day that had the members of
GWAR on it.  The female band member, Slymenstra Hymen, had brought her
boyfriend whom she introduced only as "Grimple".  I said to my husband,
"I'm naming my next ferret Grimple."  But Dusty came pre-named, so it
stuck as a nickname instead.)
 
Willow (Beanie).  Beanie was a pet store purchase a month before
Christmas.  She hopped up the sides of the tank until she almost hopped
ouot, and we bought her.  Beanie is not 4.5, a hundle of energy, the
friendliest ferret I've got.  She has invented numerous games to play
with her humans and has an uncanny knack for knowing to switch games when
it looks like the humans are getting bored with such funfests as Drag the
Bag, Drag the Towel, Drag the Sock, or Drag the Cat.  She earned the
"Beanie" nickname early on, because she never got much bigger than a
Beanie Baby and has some bottom-heaviness to her as though she's filled
with beans!
 
She's also known as WillowBean, The Beaner, Teeny Beanie, Bean-erific, The
Fat Chick, and Beanie Weenie.
 
(Footnote: Beanie has the distinction of being the ONLY pet-store purchase
out of 5 that has not cost me an arm and a leg in vet bills and given me
worried, sleepless nights!  Not a fabulous percentage.)
 
Boomer.  Boomer was my last pet-store purchase.  I met him when he arrived
at the pet store, and the first time I picked him up as a baby he clung
to my shirt and his eyes locked onto me.  There was no way I was buying
another ferret, I already had 4 and was not going to support the pet-store
ferret trade.  I figured I'd just visit him until he was sold.  But he
stayed in the pet store for three months, getting bigger and bigger.
Another ferret from that batch, an albino, also didn't sell.  By the
fourth month, both boys were well past the "kit" stage and looking like
mature ferrets.  And no one was buying them.  I went in more frequently,
and one day the manager asked me if I'd like a special price on the black
ferret.  I told her I'd been thinking about him, but it seemed cruel now
to separate them when they'd been "tankmates" for four months and had
clearly become attached (they slept tucked into each other like a perfect
black-and-white Ying and Yang).  The manager brightened and said, "Well,
I'll give you a special price on the black one and throw in the white one
for free!" Hmm...it wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but then she told
me that unless they sold soon, they'd be "sent back" because they couldn't
get any more kits in until these older ones were gone, and the store was
spending a lot on their care and feeding.  By this time I knew enough
about Marshall's to know that older ferrets sent back were not going to
some special room where they'd be pampered and loved.  I paid my $75 and
brought home the black ferret, Boomer, and the albino, Rocky.  Boomer
turned out to be the most fun-loving boy I have, and although he's on his
second battle with adrenal and is looking a little bald, he still loves
to play and carouse.
 
Boomer's known as BooBoo, Booby, Booby Man, Boobster, Boo-Boo-cefus, Goofus,
and The Boob.
 
Rocky, my albino boy.  He was a biter (I would be too if I spent the first
4 months of my life in a fishtank) and is still pretty unpredictable.  I
know his body language well enough to know when he's thinking about
biting, so I never get bit.  Rocky LOVES people food.  He stalks me when
I eat, and is in heaven when he gets a lick of ice cream, a taste of sweet
tea, a crumb of toast, or a slurp of cereal milk.  Albinos creeped me out
before I got one; now I just love watching his expressive little face!
 
Rocky is known as Rocky-Bear, Rocky Road, Rocky Man, The Rockster, and
Rockabilly.
 
That's my crew!
 
-Heather W. in Western Massachusetts
[Posted in FML issue 3791]