Dear Ferret Folks-
 
Yes, as a long time admirer of my neighbor to the north I must (with great
reluctance and regret) blow the lid off the New Hampshire conspiracy of
silence.
 
Their majestic pine and hardwood forests are simply lousy with ferrets.
Their clean, spacious state parks are riddled with weasels.  The sandy
shores of glittering Lake Winnipisaukie are studded with little black
curls of polecat poo drying in the fresh, crisp mountain air.
 
Even a drive to Mt. Washington, the highest point in all of New England
is not without it's dangers.  Marauding packs of teenage weasels will tug
at the nuts holding out of state lisence plates onto the cars, and stash
the plates, with much muffled giggling and dooking, deep into the wild
blueberry and wintergreen underbrush.
 
The nights in motorhomes are the worst.  Gangs will form, insolent
businesses who have no business doing what they do, which is divide into
two groups, one on each side of an isolated motorhome.  They will take
turns standing up to push, and rock the motorhome savagely until the
terrified occupants throw out those little red cardboard packages of
rasins.
 
We to the immediate south in Massachusetts know of the dangers, but keep
silent, hoping only that you will spend a lot of money on gas and Doritos
in our state as you make your way north.
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
Hoping that the short-furred hordes never spread to the south
[Posted in FML issue 3791]