Fear Ferret Folks-
 
Last night we sent the ladies out into the house to play for a while.  The
world on the OTHER side of the babygate is apparently much to be desired.
 
After a few hours it got to be bedtime for hoomans.  This meant it was
time for the dreaded weasel round-up.  Yup, I have to go around and look
in all the special spots to see if there is a weasel sleeping there.
Back of the closet, laundry piles, fleece jacket on floor, nothing.  No
weasels.  Finally I realized that Switch, da little imp, was following me
from place to place, about two feet behind my heels, silent as a shadow.
Oh, very funny.  One weasel down, one to go.
 
Where was old Aunt Sabrina, she of the deep sleep?  I went back to the
closet, back through all the laundry, shook the fleece jacket out again...
no Sabrina.  I shook a full box of Cheerios and walked around.  No
Sabrina.  I have Switch tucked under my arm and she has this smug look
like " You don't have Saabrinaaa, and I'm not gooona tell!  Hee-Hee!"
 
Finally, I'm in the bathroom, and I hear this teeny... tiny... little
sigh.  In the medicine cabinet beneath the sink.  I get down on the floor
(not the first time weasels have made me crawl, and probably not the last)
and open the door.  There, I saw a jumble of toilet cleaners, dry sponges,
multi-bar packs of Ivory soap, and a heavy duty ziplock freezer bag with
a tail hanging out of it.
 
My heart stopped for an instant, but there was no damage done, just an
open ziplock bag with a whole, happy ferret asleep inside.  Except for
her tail, which was hanging out.  She was a very happy ferret, a damn
happy ferret, in fact.  She had emptied the bag of a large number of
carded samples of Prozac that had been there for years, and was probably
getting a contact high from the residue.
 
I picked the bag up and she raised her sleepy little face up, and began
to shake, as a newly awakened ferret will do.  And I imagined her saying
in a happy, T.V. announcers voice as her little teeth chattered,
"Introducing-New!  Weasel Freezin' Bags!  Now Freeze a weasel anytime in
one of these deluxe vinyl carrying cases!  Oooonly $19.95 plus shipping
and handling!  But wait!  There's MUCH more!  Order in the next ten
minutes and receive TWO weasel Freezin' Bags!"
 
Moral of the story: don't forget to keep your drugs out of reach.  Weasels
don't need Prozac.  They are already happy.
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
[Posted in FML issue 3763]