Bill Gruber (BIG) wrote:
>I have one major observation to make about comments people are sending
>though: Most of you were not at the symposium.  I do NOT recall Lisa
>saying Carole's ferrets were not living in good conditions, but that
>seems to be what everyone who was not there is jumping on.
 
>I'm sure mistakes were made on both "sides", but I'm even more sure that
>there was some real confusion and misunderstanding in the hectic period
>when all this was occurring.
 
You know what this sounds like?  It sounds JUST like a PILE of other
misunderstandings that have happened when defensive third parties for both
sides who weren't around for most of a misunderstanding got involved.
Sometimes the two primary parties talked together and everything got
straightened out.  Sadly, sometimes one or both of the two primary parties
listened too much to those "defending" them instead of having a calm
direct talk, and mistakenly thought that the things that the "defenders"
were saying were the reality.  I've seen friendships, rescues, excellent
working situations, and shelters ruined by exactly such misconceptions.
 
Folks -- this is the same as when anyone "quotes" someone else.  Check
with the primary party instead of accepting the "quote" at face value!  I
recently heard a claim from someone who threw at me, "Check with (the
person "quoted") if you don't believe me." Well, it was something that I
had reason to check on no matter what the outcome, so I did, and I just
heard back from the person -- one guess what the result was.  CHECK FOR
YOURSELVES.
 
VERIFY, VERIFY, VERIFY -- if you hear something from a third party or if
you hear a quote CHECK to make sure that there was not a misunderstanding
instead of just accepting it -- esp.  if it is at all sensational or
questionable, or if it may hurt anyone!  It is just truly terrible when
good and innocent people are hurt because such precautions aren't taken
first.
 
This does NOT have to be a "fight" and there do not have to be "sides";
there was a misunderstanding between two parties and THEY -- not anyone
else -- should talk together to straighten this out as best they can.
Everyone else should just butt out while they are working on this to
prevent causing harm.
 
Frankly, I am relieved that the situation worked out so well for the
ferrets, now if folks will just let the two primary parties handle this
perhaps it will work out just as well for them.
[Posted in FML issue 3691]