Dear Ferret Folks-
 
It seems to me that one of the defining characteristics of the domestic
ferret is that the more they they try to help, the more unhelpful they
become.  The more they help, the harder I have to work.
 
I stayed home from work feeling unwell today.  I wanted to get something
useful accomplished, so I decided to do some gentle housecleaning.
Sabrina the Bat-Biter had no problem with my decision.  The sound of the
vacuum cleaner being moved from its' cubby was all she needed to hear.
She immediately removed herself from the scene.  Switch the Kit, however,
wanted to help vacuum.
 
Switch wanted to help by chasing the vacuum cleaner, and pouncing on it
when it remained unimpressed by her fierce wardance display.  Switch bit
the vacuum cleaner, while I tried to keep her from getting sucked into
Hoover Hell.
 
Switch wanted to help me sweep the kitchen, too.  She did that by chasing
the broom, and running through the dust-pile I built.  Repeatedly.
 
Switch wanted to help me with the laundry by crawling into the open
front-loading dryer through the door.  This was not helpful.  She was
removed many times.
 
Switch wanted to help me with the dishes by crawling into the dish-washer.
So nice and steamy warm, all sorts of little wet puddles to lick and
taste...
 
Switch wanted to make sure that I had plenty of things to clean, so she
recycled that water through her kidneys and made little yellow puddles of
her own here and there, one right in the aforementioned dust pile I was
sweeping up.  How nice.
 
I decided to help Switch back into her cage for a while so that I could
get something done, and only have to do it once.  So of course, she has
disappeared completely.  As I type this I hear the occasional piercing
squeal from her favourite squeaky toy, so I know she's carpet sharking
under the furniture somewhere, just waiting for me to do something really
silly, like try to dust.
 
I don't NEED the help, really I don't....I can do it myself.
 
Please?
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
[Posted in FML issue 3842]