The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is for the first sentence of an
imaginary bad novel.  One entry from this year's contest you might
appreciate:
 
>Like most members of "Mustela putorius fero,[sic]" known to laymen as the
>domestic ferret, our inquisitive hero (about whom more we shall shortly
>read) resembled a shrunken polar bear, toasted by a blowtorch, suffixed
>by a tail, and stretched out like taffy while still hot.
>
>   -- Tristan Davenport, Santa Cruz, CA
 
Other wonderful bad reading at  http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
 
Helen
[Posted in FML issue 3582]