>should i just bring one home (a ferret) one night unbenownst to my
>parents and train it for a month to go up to them and give them a hug,
>etc?"
 
Dear Peter-
 
Once upon a time I wanted to get a new pet rat to replace my beloved boys
Carl Ratsmussen and G.  Gordon Liddy, who finally died from just being
very old rats.  My Mom said "No more pets.  We have enough." That pissed
me off.  I got a new rat anyway, I figured by the time she figured it out
she'd just have to accept it.  Wrong.  She eventually caught on and
ordered me to find him a new home.  Immediately.  My friend Smitty agreed
to take him, cage and all.  Later on, Smitty decided he didn't really like
rats.  He gave the rat to someone who owned a REALLY BIG SNAKE.  I'll
leave the rest to your imagination.
 
I blame myself.
 
Best not try to force a ferret on your parents.  Bad things could happen,
like maybe they've been reading "Parenting" books lately and they decide
to teach you a lesson about power, and the ferret suffers.  Eventually you
will live under your own roof, and they won't have any say in the matter,
like that guy in New Jersey with the nine monitor lizards.  Of course,
when he died under his own roof recently, the lizards got REALLY hungry
after a few days...Did I mention that they are carnivores?  I'll leave
that to your imagination, too.
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
 
(The Parents in New Jersey): MOM-"Oh, if we'd just have let Junior have
that gekko back in 1963..things would have turned out so differently.."
DAD-"What the hell are we going to do with nine monitor lizards?"
[Posted in FML issue 3672]