Although I have no children (yet), I've already caught myself "turning
into my mother" with my ferret crew when they misbehave.  Has anyone else
had this happen??
 
Here's a sampling of the kinds of things I say to my fuzzies, after which
I slap my forehead and say, "Oh, my God!  I sound just like my MOTHER!":
 
"Didn't I just ask you to stop doing that? If I have to tell you again,
you'll be sorry!"
(shouted at ferret who is digging at the carpet in front of the bedroom
door for the twelfth time, who stops and gives me the same uninterested,
why-are-you-interrupting-me stare that I used to give MY mom, and knows I
won't really do anything to stop him)
 
"Don't you give me that look!"
(being glared at by a ferret who has just been put back in her cage, who
clearly feels that a 3 and 1/2 hour romp is a miserly playtime)
 
"If you do that one more time, you're going straight to bed, missy!"
(spoken to tiny female ferret who has just teased her older, weary female
cagemate into a bottle-brushed state of intense agitation)
 
"Well, you bit him first, so what did you expect? Don't come crying to me!"
(my unsympathetic response to a ferret who jumped a larger one, bit him,
then ran to hide behind my skirt when the other ferret decided to swat
back)
 
"If you guys think you're getting a special treat after the way you just
behaved, you've got another thing coming!"
(to all six ferrets who, after terrorizing a weekend guest into leaving
early, lined up expectantly for an after-dinner Ferretone lick)
 
"This hurts me more than it hurts you."
(to a ferret who acquiesces to having his ears cleaned as long as he
can clamp down on my wristbone while I'm doing it, leaving little red
indentations)
 
and the number one "I've become my mother"-ism:
 
"Do I have to pull this car over over until you can behave?"
(barked at six ferrets who are expressing their outrage at being stuffed
into the hated carrier by banging the water bottle, shaking the bars,
clawing at the air holes, picking on the "little guy" until he screams,
flinging food, and hissing at me)
 
-Heather W.
 Channeling her mother in Massachusetts
[Posted in FML issue 3694]