Dooks to all the fuzzies out there and my prayers to those of you, who
like myself, are mourning the loss of a furkid.  To all of you who's
fuzzies are bouncing and happy, please give your fuzzies and hug and a
kiss for me and never take them forgranted.  You never know when they will
decide to leave you.  That's what my Casper did.  He left when I didn't
expect it and when I wasn't home to be with him.
 
I really didn't expect him to go.  He's had diarrhea for three years on
and off.  We've tried everything to cure him, meds, diet, etc.  Nothing
worked.  We removed a hairball about five months ago and thought that that
could have been the cause and hoped that he would get better.  That didn't
help.  Around Labor Day I thought I would lose him.  Within days he lost
so much weight, stopped eating and became so weak.  We did test, xrays,
meds and three hour feedings.  He got better after passing some hair, he
gained weight, but he still had diarrhea.  We decided to do an ultrasound
and saw his stomach had a lot of gas in it and was enlarged, but there was
nothing else there.  But, he had started eating on his own, he'd gained
back some weight and was up and about climbing around, stealing the tv
remote, playing with Rosco and being a ferret again.  I still fed him a
small amount of moist food to try to pump up his weight, kept giving him
fluids several times a day, and he seemed to be doing so well.
 
Tuesday night he was very quiet and just wanted to curl up in my lap.
Wednesday morning I had to leave to go to an out of town meeting.  I got
up and spoon fed him moist food and pedialyte.  I put him down and he
followed me around while I got everything ready to take him to my friends
house, who happens to run a shelter.  We discussed what he's been through
and that he had been quiet Tuesday and what she planned to do to try to
build him up.  We put him in the cage, I scratched him good-bye and told
him I'd see him Monday and would call her Thursday.  I traveled to my
meeting and checked messages at 10:00 PM, the message I had was, "Lisa,
it's 7:30.  I have Casper in my arms and it's not good.  Please call me
when you get a chance."
 
I called her immediately and she informed me that Casper had gone to the
bridge at approx. 9:30.  She fed him around 5:00 and he'd eaten a large
amount of food and seemed to be okay.  She went to check on him about 7:15
and he wasn't doing well.  She picked him up and tried to feed him, he
wouldn't eat and his temp was dropping.  She wrapped him in a blanket with
a heating pad and tried to get him fluids.  But it was too late.  He let
out 2 whimpers took a deep breath and died in her arms.
 
He was so young, just four years old.  He was my little devil.  The one
managed to get to places no ferret should have been able to reach.  He
would get on my desk, rearrange my workspace, steal the calculator and
probably used email!  The one who would crawl into bed in the morning and
pull the phone off onto my head if he felt I was sleeping too late.  He
would lay on my feet while I was putting on my makeup.  Thought nothing
was more fun than climbing into a glass of Mountain Dew, not to drink it,
but to splash in it and look up with pride, like he'd done something
really cool.  He NEVER missed the fridge door opening and would stand at
attention waiting for a raisin (not that he always got one).  He firmly
believed that the cordless phone and remote belonged under the bed, not on
the coffee table.  Finally, he was the one who loved to be scratched on
the ears and would curl up on my chest to go to sleep at night.
 
I still haven't come to grips with this whole thing.  I can't believe he's
gone.  I can't believe he left when I wasn't there - not that it really
surprises me.  He was there when Ozzie died a couple years ago.  He never
left my side and would go through all kinds of antics to get me to laugh,
even though he was hurting too.  I firmly believe that he felt this was
the "perfect" time to leave me.  I wasn't there to see him go and he
didn't have to feel guilty watching me be in pain as he left me.  I still
don't know what happened to him.  He just seemed to give up and go
quietly.
 
Though I will never know why he left and what happened to him, I know that
he loved me and is with best friend, Ozzie, and my dog Peanut, at the
Bridge.  But that doesn't make the pain go away.  It hurt so much to get
home last night and not have him here.  I so expected him to come walking
around the corner!
 
Sandee, please check on him and make sure that he, Ozzie and Peanut are
with him.  I am sending his favorite hammock to sleep on.  Let him know
that I am so sorry I wasn't there in the end, I had no idea he was going
to go.  I love him with all my heart and will see him when my time is up.
Tell him that Rosco has already made a new friend at the shelter and, if
it's okay with him, daddy and I would like to bring this little one home.
I made a promise to Ozzie before I helped him cross to the Bridge that
would take the love that I provided him and use it to change the life of
another ferret who hasn't been so lucky.  I would like to do the same now.
Rosco will need a "brother" to help him through and Casper knows that Roz
isn't easy to live with.  But I want Casper's okay first.  Also remind
Ozzie and Peanut that they are never far from our thoughts and always in
our hearts.
 
Lisa, Chris and Rosco
Always loving and remembering Casper, Ozzie and Peanut
[Posted in FML issue 3565]