Greetings all,
 
This is the first time I have not posted anonymously.
 
After reading so many postings about others loosing their babies, I now
understand the pain and sadness.  Winnie had insulinoma and adrenal cancer
for a while now.  We had surgery a few years ago and up until recently she
was doing well.
 
I took her to the Hospital Saturday morning for a wheezing hacking cough
that I thought had been a hairball problem.  She had Congestive Heart
Failure.  Her little lungs were full of fluid as well as her chest cavity.
 
I took her home with lasix and another cardiac medication I cannot
remember now.  Later that day she had the worst hypoglycemic episode I'd
ever seen.  I rushed her to a 24 hour emergency Hospital Santa Monica.
She was obviously hypoglycemic (but that had been normal for her) and was
hypothermic.
 
They warmed her up in a tiny incubator and got her blood sugar up.  I took
her home again, waking up during the night to feed her and give her water.
She was doing well today.
 
I woke her up this afternoon to give her some water (she would not drink
unless I gave it to her via syringe) and she stopped breathing and her
heart stopped.  I was a Paramedic for 8 years but never thought I'd be
doing CPR on my own ferret.  I actually brought her around to where she
had sponaneous respirations and a pulse, all be it weak.
 
I rushed her again to my Animal Hospital and after talking to my
Veterinarian (God Bless you Dr.Shulke)  I decided it was enough and time
to help her cross over.  God, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to
do.  I felt and still feel so dam responsible for Winnie.  I was there
for her and held her in my arms after the Doctor gave her the injection.
I know deep down that she is not suffering now but that is not a whole
lot of cofort for me.  I hate the thought that I will have to repeat the
process in a few years with her Sister.
 
God help me and all the others who have to go through this.
 
She was the sweetest little thing in the world and everyone who saw/or
came in to contact with her said the same.  I miss her allready and pray
that this sadness and guilt will ease soon.
 
Kiss your babies today.
 
Good Health to You and Yours,
Peter & Wylie (missing her Sister).
[Posted in FML issue 3543]