Hi, Kim, as you know my generation was the first generation of U.S.
women to try to "have it all" and many found out that the tricks of
having it all amount to:
 
1a.  Have parts at different times in life.
 
2a.  Alter the scale to a manageable level.
 
3a.  Share the load.
 
4a.  Eliminate some components, even if only temporarily for some.
 
5a.  Accept that perfection is impossible.
 
Writing a book is hard; raising a child is harder.  Could you write
another book with your current workload?  If not, then something would
have to give and it would best to not have that loss be of your health
and stamina.
 
Some ideas to sort through which might help you find the best
configuration for yourself:
 
1b.  Is it possible to remove some aspects of your current workload to a
later time in life?  After all, if you don't work yourself to a frazzle
there WILL be more years ahead and goals deferred often are all the
sweeter once achieved, as I keep telling myself every time I look at our
miserable carpet.  Besides, having a goal to look forward to is part of
what keeps life most invigorating and mental and physical health best;
it's always good to have more goals than one can ever reach, but to keep
reaching a measured bit at a time.
 
2b.  Is it possible to scale something down?  Could you reduce the number
of animals, or add a second (perhaps even a third) branch of your shelter
in the home of another area ferret-person who has the ability to handle a
ferret shelter so that you do some over-seeing but that job is smaller?
Could your pay-job become part-time for at least a while?  Is there a way
to scale-back expenses if that is a consideration, also, as it is here?
 
3b.  Could you get some volunteers, shelter-partners, or even employees?
Could your job become a time-share job for while?  Could you arrange to
have regular baby-sitting during certain hours to allow you to safely work
with the more dangerous animals without the risk of a distraction causing
an accident, or worse.  (Remember, I used to work with wild animals and
know the risk there...) Yes, of course, your hubby will share, too, but if
there is still too much work for both -- or either -- of you then tensions
will rise and that's hard on a marriage, so expectations of what you can
do and what he can do have to be realistic.
 
4b.  Can you put aside some parts of your life style, knowing that you
have more important considerations for a while?
 
5b.  No one is perfect and no one has to be perfect.  You are allowed to
find that some levels of work and responsibility simply are too much for
you.  Anyone will learn that limit when that person's own level for a time
of life is met.  You have permission to have limits in time, finances,
strength, and ability among your family and friends, and you have to also
give yourself that permission, as do we all have to be similarly kind to
ourselves.
[Posted in FML issue 3586]