I don't know what to say except your words did and do help!  I am so
amazed at the outpour of all the condolences for my little baby, Barret
leaving me.
 
It is so right, it is kinda selfish to continue to cry everyday when she is
not in pain.  I think out of everything that has been said this one rang
the most true.  I agree that it is the ones left behind who suffer- I
haven't stopped crying since the vet called me.  I hope that the pain gets
better each day as I do have a huge chunk of my heart ripped out it feels.
But I guess it really isn't ripped, it has been blessed to have had the
chance to have her here while she was alive.  It was fate that brought her
to my door last year and I can't degrade that by staying sad every day.  I
am going to be strong and know that she is in a much better place than even
you or I can imagine.  I just hope to see her when I pass one day.  I have
never loved an animal like I did Barret.  I have 4 cats and a hamster and
have NEVER known love like that.  I would have given my life for her.  I am
trying not to torture myself that she died alone because she was in her bed
that she loved with one of my night gowns (silk) that she had dragged off
into the closet.  I knew that it smelled like me so maybe she knew I was
there with her in her few last moments.  I just pray to God above that she
knows and knew how much I loved her.  I would race home to see her every
day after work and curl up on the bed with her on the weekends and that was
my favorite thing in the world to do (My "happy place" in my mind).  I will
always grieve for her, as she was my true baby, but I am going to try to
not be so sad as I know she is at peace.
 
I just can't thank everyone enough for writing to me and telling me that
what I feel is normal and that most of you have dealt with this at one
point.  I grieve for all of you as I have never known what it was like to
feel this magnitude of pain.  I am astonished at the responses I have
received on losing Barret and each and every one of your emails have helped
me to deal with this pain and will live in my "saved mail" forever so that
I can go back to read it every now and then when I need to be reminded.
 
It is with this that I close in saying I thank GOD for the FML and for
each and every one of you as I thank GOD that I had the chance to share
life with my baby Barret.  Thank you!
 
         *Laura *
[Posted in FML issue 3424]