Hi Dawn --
 
I'm so sorry for your little fuzzy.  My husband and I just went through
this last week.  This was the very first time in our lives either one of
us had to even consider this option.  Both of us were very heartbroken
and torn apart inside over having to even think about making this choice.
Here was our experience.
 
Wacko was about 1-1/2 years old and he had lymphosarcoma.  It seems like it
just snuck up out of nowhere, but obviously it does take a little time to
start its terrible damage.  We chose to give Wacko medications and see how
he did.  Throughout the week, he was doing quite well, and then all of a
sudden he was back to just not being able to move well or walk well.  We
were still feeding him by hand too, but this time he truly couldn't eat
anything else on his own.  He was starting to go to the bathroom right
where he lay.  So last Wednesday, I went back to our vet with him, and I
was told the terrible news.  My husband and I were grieving for a week
during his illness, but now that the real decision had to be made, it was
an unbearable thought.  We went to the vet Wednesday evening to send him
to the Rainbow Bridge.  We of course cried a lot while visiting with him
while he was still alive, and they were so nice to give us all the time
we needed.  Finally, the time came, and we knew we had to let go.  I just
kissed him and petted him until he fell asleep and entered the Rainbow
Bridge.  All of our fears of the whole experience were ERASED.  It of
course was extremely sad, but in all, the whole experience was very
positive, there were no regrets that we did the wrong thing, we didn't feel
like we killed him or betrayed him or his trust in us as his humans.  There
was a great feeling of relief knowing that he wasn't suffering and that we
didn't have to watch him suffer anymore because that was the worst part of
all.  We were helpless and totally out of control.  I pictured him at the
moment of him falling asleep that his soul jumped out of his body and
started dancing around, and that he was probably saying, "Oh, does that
feel better!  I can run and jump and dance around so much better now!
Thank you mom and dad!"  It truly felt like that to me.
 
One of our biggest worries was that it was going to linger and take a long
time, and that he might have seizures or jerk around, etc.  NONE OF THAT
HAPPENED.  It was almost immediate, within about 15-20 seconds.  That part
helped immensely also.  I was asking people what their experiences were
just like you are, and I wasn't hearing anything positive, so that made
the fear even greater.  I am so happy to finally share our experience of
this so that you don't have to be afraid, and I will continue to share
this with everyone who asks me so they don't feel afraid either.
 
I wish you well and give your little Taz a kiss from me also.
 
Dooks!
Anne Marie
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[Posted in FML issue 3331]