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Subject:
From:
Larry McFarlane <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 10 Jan 2001 20:11:15 -0600
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Hmmm, "Creaky Brain Cells".  Nah, Lynda-it's creaky joints on my part!
Didn't think I was in bad shape till I took this 2nd job-wow, being on my
feet for an evening is a killer.  War room?  Hmmmmm, we'll all have to see
about this.  Not sure I want to be in a war room with Wolfy-she might have
Scott bring in Pong and lock and load that boy's tuckus!  Little ferret
surprises firing everywhere there!
 
Anyway: So, Georgia, another cup of coffee????  We all know you drink
double strength espressos!  Been slippin' 'em to your kids, too.  No wonder
Kouri falls out of his wagon-he's so wired he's singing and dancing and
shooting at things that well, frankly my dear, I don't know how he does it.
I can see him doing that "George of the Jungle" routine with the "Chock
Full of Nuts" can, saying JAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVA and just ripping around.
And then you're trying to tell us that one of your other babies pulls a
wagon of their own free will????  Awwww, c'mon, we know you have a bag full
of raisins suspended over their head!  First you make them crochet, then
they have to perform, then you send Kouri out to trap things---wow!  Talk
about sweatshops and other things!!!!!!  And then we all discover you've
got Hawk and Gator out there trying to coerce a heron up to your home!
Sheesh woman!  Whatcha tryin' to do, set Kouri up making hats with feathers
in them now?  Plus you make them paint so you can have art shows and take
the credit for their wonderful painting!  EEEEEYYYYYYAAAAAAA!
 
And I found out Kouri does woodworking now.  So tell me, does he have a
little tool belt, safety glasses?  I can see him, wood working, putting
down the hard wood floor, tool belt slipping, little butt crack, er, tail
crack showing.  No wonder you plan on sailing down all these rivers and
such!
 
Hey, can Kouri send me an eggplant recipe?  And when is his stint on "Chef
on a Shoestring" on the CBS Saturday morning show?  Gotta see that one.
And do you know how to cook those little craw daddy's?????  I can see you
and all the ferrets in a boat, snapping craw dads and eating them, Kouri
sitting in the seat trying to shoot fish (Crocodile Dundee style here).
Coast Guard will pull up beside you and want to know if there's anything
illegal going on.  The other ferrets will be coming up out of the water,
little snorkeling outfits on, pearls or sponges in their hands, how ya
gonna explain that one, huh?????
 
And ya really need to be kinder to Lynn.  I've just learned she and her
fuzzies are relatives of ours!!!!!  After all, catching those 'gators to
feed the fuzzies, getting them all to mop that floor for her, that takes
time.  Have to bear with her as she inhales those fumes (yeah, Lynn-we
know-they don't spray for skeeters in the winter, uh huh, sure-hey,
relatives can rib each other).
 
And Wolfy!  With Scott the might hunter shooting Pong's tuckus off-no
wonder the poor woman is walking in circles with a little red wagon!  I
mean, her giggle pin is on permanent go, her depends run low and then you
tell her she's got to let you keep the freebies if you go to the Depends
factory?!?!?!?!?  Next thing we know Wolfy will be raiding the diaper
section in the stores, glazed look in her eyes, repeating must have these,
they're leak proof, must have these, they're leak proof.  Little kids will
be crying because the lady with the red wagon took all their diapers.
Wolfy-want to become a Mc/Mac Farlane?  I'm sure we can induct ye into the
clan, lassy!  We can raid the Depends Factory for you, then raid Georgia's
house for all those freebies she's kept (of course we have to go when
there's a full moon and all, since in Scotland a full moon is known as
McFarlane's lantern-we're great cattle rustlers, you know, only now it'll
be Depends Rustlers).
 
So, at Lynda's suggestion, does anyone want to offer prizes and such for
who can be the silliest in this one?  Do we dare have another Depends
contest or what?  Somebody want to throw some suggestions out here?  I'm
having far too much fun.
 
BUT-I do have something silly that just happened here, and it has nothing
to do with Kouri and all.  Sara decided to luxuriate herself in the tub.
We keep a little blue tub in there with water so the fuzzies can enjoy
themselves.  Kid emptied the water and put it down, wasn't paying
attention.  I'm down here furiously working on my reply/ribbing and I hear
tremendous scratching.  Suddenly I hear Sara going mom, we have a problem,
quick.  I get to the bottom of the stairs and am looking at Conan, who has
his head and front shoulders over the barricade.  The look on his face was
priceless, sort of oh, s***, I've been had, and of course there was Calvin
and Mookie urging him on till they saw me!
 
Rebecca & the Crew of Merry Mayhem
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy, and taste
 good with ketchup"
[Posted in FML issue 3294]

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