Hi all.  I was so excited last night after reading "Ferrets for Dummies"
that I couldn't sleep.  So what does a sensible ferret owner do when they
can't sleep??  Write ferret limericks of course.  Here you go Bryan!
 
Endora's a ferret quite funny,
The things she puts in her tummy!
It's really no surprise,
That closely using your eyes,
You'll find that her poops are quite runny!
 
Tabitha's a fert who for fun,
Knocks all books off the shelf bar one;
When carefully she'll wait,
And a trap she will bait,
So that Dora underneath knows not what's been done!
 
Tabitha's a scaler of walls,
She wants to reach Mummy (who's tall).
So vertically she'll climb,
Until such a time,
When she will undoubtedly fall!
 
Endora's eyes are too big,
WIth so much food, she acts like a pig.
She hides it away,
Hoping it'll stay,
Under the bed until Mummy's archeological dig!
 
Tabitha's a tipper of glasses,
No opportunity for this she passes.
To investigate the scene,
Looking under, around, between,
Even stealing off with Mummy's glasses.
 
The rattle of the raisin jar does make,
Tab & Dora come with the first shake.
It enables me to find,
Those rascals of mine,
Though the giving of treats I then never can fake!
 
Those ferrets I never can train,
And it can be such a pain!
When guests I've got round,
The trouser legs they've found,
Oh Tabitha, Endora! Not AGAIN!!
 
Ferrets for Dummies by Kim Schilling,
Is a book for which I'm more than willing,
To pay some Aussie dough,
With no thought of financial woe,
Its delights are intellectually filling!
 
I've never seen ferrets so determined,
To rid the house of all vermin,
But it's going a bit far,
When the door's left ajar,
And my flatmate treats me to a sermon!
 
Poop inspection is a ferret lover's joy,
It sets you apart from the boys.
We secretly delight,
(As I shamefully write),
In good poop even more than a toy!
 
As winter approached Dora got fat,
She ate even more than the cat.
Now summer is near,
And she's beginning to fear,
That her svelte figure will never come back!
 
The weather warming up makes ferrets shed,
More hair than on some human heads.
Bald humans bemoan,
"If only I'd known,
I could've made a wig and dyed it red!"
 
There's a corner of the room the fuzzies can't go,
It's causes them much angst and woe!
But try as they might,
Off the shoulder in full flight,
The distance is just too big a foe!
 
Ferret's scratching at the door is a bummer,
And worse with the approach of summer.
The door can't be left open,
So the breeze won't be blowin',
Thank God for the laying of carpet runner!!
 
The opening of drawers which are forbidden,
Is something a fert lover takes as a given.
For wherever they go,
They also want to know,
What's in the drawers?  Is it something we're missing??
 
A ferret's path is defined by its nose,
For wherever it heads, the ferret goes.
If it should sniff some dust,
Watch for the bust,
For the nose, when it goes, BLOWS!
 
Georgina, in Australia, with Tabitha and Endora
[Posted in FML issue 3230]