I had an hour to get to the chiropractor, and the shop was only a minute
out of my way.  I fought with myself not to turn.  Keep straight on
Lisette.  Arrive early, and read some magazines.  Don't go there.  Keep
on this road, stupid.
 
What use is it to make oneself sick over a situation that nothing can be
done about?  The place is not dirty enough.  The conditions are not drastic
enough.  It is a place of sadness I cannot change.
 
It has been eight months since I have been here.  I head for the small back
room where the ferrets are kept.  Eight months ago a group of four ferrets
huddled in a metal cage with no food or water, toys, or blankets, boxes or
hammocks.  Just feces covered wire and empty bowls.
 
There are two small boys now-maybe 8 weeks old.  And there is one of the
original ferrets- a prisoner for at least eight months of its short life.
She looked just like Baby.  Now her silver coloring is grungy dull gray.
She smells like feces.
 
I ask the lady for food and water for the ferrets.  She will do it tomorrow
morning, she says.  I explain why it should be done before then.  I offer
to do it.  I offer to buy the food to put in the cage.  It is like talking
to a door.
 
The dogs are from puppy mills.  So are the kittens.  I hate this place.
The ferret who is probably a year old now is dirty with long dirty nails,
and she has fleas.  I tell the lady this.  She just looks through me.
 
I want this place closed.  I want happy lives for all these animals.
I want the dogs that bred these puppies found and released from their
prisons-if they are even still alive.  I feel so helpless in these
horrible places.
 
I am busy at work.  I have two ferrets in the last stages of their lives.
I have a female cat that was physically abused that I saved last year who
has suddenly decided I am her friend, and needs me to play with her now.
I have seminars coming up.  I am so stressed out that I have to see the
chiropractor today.  I cannot turn my head without great pain.  It is a
mixture of internalizing stress and working too many hours, poor posture,
no time to work out.  I need to get out of this place.  There is nothing I
can do.
 
I buy the dirty smelly flea ridden female ferret that has been in this pet
shop for at least 8 months.
 
Fleas and ear mites taken care of for now and first distemper shot given,
I have her in a two story mid sized cage.  She has no litter box habits.
She had no litter box.  She will probably pee all over her blankets.  She
will probably pee all over everything for the next 6 or so years.
 
It will take the usual months to isolate then integrate with my current
zoo.  I just finished leaving food out for the out door birds and
carnivores.  Time for the last feeding and meds, nail trimming and ear
cleaning of the zoo..
 
I could have just kept driving straight.  I could have arrived to the
office early and read magazines that I never have time to even skim read.
 
I think that this save may be the toughest decision I have made in a long
time.  Please pray for me for better health so that I can take care of
everyone properly.  I will do right by this little girl.
 
Lisette
[Posted in FML issue 3343]