Ah, Georgia!  Now look what's happening to you (you are a happenin' lady,
huh?) You're under surveillance by the Canadian authorities now!  All that
coffee Kouri's been having lately-the satellite caught him swinging through
the trees doing a Tarzan yell, didn't it?  That and his catapult building.
No cat will be safe near him now.  And I can see this, the rest of your
group standing in line to be tossed through the air!  They'll build this
wall made of mattresses, have some at the bottom, put velcro on their feet
and bodies.  Can you see this?  Ferrets sailing through the air, double
gainers, high dives, then doing perfect landings?  I can see the gravel
pit guys now, sitting at a table, holding up signs: 9.1; 9.2; 10; 9.3
Then your group will be trying to get 'ferret sailing' into the Olympics!
I can see his catapult now, partly built out of old panty hose (Sukie,
you know this idea had to come about when you mentioned a hammock made of
them).  Imagine the pull, the stretch, the range, the twang when it lets
go!  And then, they'll make bungee hammocks out of them.
 
Georgia, I sure hope you don't plan on getting dressed up very often.  I
can see the headlines in your local paper "Police called to the Wood house
today to settle an altercation between Mrs. Georgia Wood and Mr. Kouri
Wood.  It seems that Georgia wanted to wear her panty hose and Mr. Kouri
wanted to wear, er, use them to send things sailing through the air.
Police reported that the 2.5 pound ferret (not sure how much he weighs)
won the altercation when he grabbed the panty hose, climbed up a police
officers pant leg, and proceeded to try to use the officers gun to make
his point.  As the hand cuffs would not fit on Kouri's hands, er, paws,
officers decided that it would be better to release him on his own
recognizance as long as he was not seen dressing in drag with the panty
hose (after all, he's a fine, upstanding citizen with an NRA membership).
Mrs. Wood was a bit upset as this was an expensive pair of hosiery, but
police told her it would be better to let Mr. Kouri have his way
(especially when they saw him wheel his catapult around while drinking
coffee out of a thermos).  It was also duly noted that the other ferrets
in the home all are card carrying union members.  Officers were treated
to a rendition of "Look for the Union Label' by said ferrets.  Can bring
a tear to the eye, with their true blue loyalty".
 
Was the fish you enticed the heron with a "Billy Bass"?  If so, there's one
strange sounding heron out there I'll bet.  And do you make sure that Kouri
washes his paws before cooking?  One can't be too careful about sanitation.
I'll bet he's cute in that little chef's hat and apron,huh?  Does he follow
the "Naked Chef" or "Yan Can Cook"?  Hopefully he hasn't seen "Yan"-somehow
a ferret with a wok and a sharp knife conjures up all sorts of things-stir
fried craw dads with raisin sauce, chicken stir fry with cheerios......
 
And Wolfy-is Pongo's tuckus registered as a deadly weapon?  Let's hope so.
You know, if you feed him beans it could be even deadlier.  And, um, well,
thinking of Carpet Shark Scott in rutt and doing a weasel war dance, um,
that's almost as un-ladylike to mention as Georgia's 9 inch fish!  I can
see the three of you out walking, red wagon behind, depends falling out of
it.  Something or somebody startles the Carpet Shark, he whirls, Pong in
position (hmmm, that sounds odd), he grabs Pongo's tail to 'lock and load'
and is eyeball to eyeball with a little 6 year old whose been walking
behind the wagon, picking up the depends!
 
Vicki-they've already organized a union!  They've got a name (I heard mine
whispering it) American Federation of Ferrets Against Unfair Labor-AFFAUL.
I heard they're going to strike for Cheerios, Raisins, Gravy, anything
they can get.  Union dues are proof of their cunning (like they need to
prove that?)
 
Lynn: Are you building a wall around your place to guard yourself?  You
can use your birds to take messages back and forth, your ferrets can be
out there tossing stones or whatever at Georgia and her group.  You better
get your guys together and get a catapult built.  HEY-watch for Kouri's
plan eBay and then improve on it.
 
Wow, I'm glad my group is calm.  They're only into stealing Sara's make up,
cologne, getting the panty hose down........ ALL RIGHT YOU GUYS-QUIT WITH
THE ROCKETTES IMITATION-STOP THAT DANCING ON THE DESK TOP RIGHT NOW!!!
 
Rebecca and the Crew of Merry Mayhem
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy, and
 taste good with ketchup"
[Posted in FML issue 3296]