Gosh, Melissa & Rob, thanks for asking!  You see, how it is, is that
there's this secret NRA catagory just for ferrets!  Ok, ok, I'll get
(yeah, right) serious, here's how it really happened.
 
Once upon a couple of years ago, a new magazine was formed, called Oregon
Home, and I sent the subscription card in Kouri's name.  It was an
experment, to see what kinds of companies the magazine would sell their
subscription list to.  Life has not been the same since!  First thing that
happened was Vanna White invited him to join her Crochet Club.  Kouri
declined - too prissy an activity for him.  But when the Home Handyman Club
proffered their membership, he bit.  He got a cute little keyring, and more
important, a genuine plastic membership card with his name embossed on it -
Kouri Wood.  He gets offers for credit cards, but the only one we sent in
listed his occupation as Head Ferret.  I thought he was at least entitled
to a formal rejection letter!  He considered joining a Gardening Club, in
that they sent him his embossed card with the offer.  He also has a card
from Harcourt, a career correspondence school.  Then came his big moment...
 
The NRA sent him an invitation to join their esteemed (or not) ranks.
It was just toooooooo much.  I, personally, am neither a gung-ho NRA
supporter, nor an anti-gun person.  I just thought it was terribly funny
that a ferret could become a member.  I couldn't mail that card fast
enough!  When the bill came, I paid it.  The only thing I thought he'd
get out of it is the little plastic membership card.  When the Millenium
Certificate arrived, with his name in caligraphy script, signed by Heston
(and 2 other mokes), I was floored.  It's framed, and on my cube wall with
my Windows and Word class ctfs, and people come by and say "what is that"?
 
Kouri now has 2 guns.  The first was a little pistol, and (can you believe
this) it's an actual working cap pistol, 2 inches long!  My jaw hit the
floor when I realized I'd bought my ferret a working gun!  At least I
didn't buy the caps!  Now he has a rifle, too, from a GI Joe doll kit, the
82nd Infantry one, I believe.  He can't wear the vest that comes with it,
but the smaller ferrets can.  The helmet would fit, but the elastic strap
needs to be longer.  What's really priceless are the boots.  This is a WWII
kit and the boots are brown leather with kacki cloth leggings attached.
They are made from a soft plastic and the small ferrets can actually wear
them.  Talk about "Your mother wears army boots"!  So next time I tick
somebody off I may get - "...and not only that, but your ferret wears army
boots".  Mahahahahah.
 
It wasn't easy finding the rifle, which is all I wanted.  There were kits
of just guns, and lots of kits with cute (read funny) clothes but the guns
were weird looking.  I wanted something that was just a basic brown wood
rifle.  This one is about 6 inches long and has a sling, so I can put it
over his shoulder and it will stay long enough for the Kodak Moment to
happen.  I'm still looking for something more 'NRA'ish', something like a
floppy camo hat.
 
Merry Christmas,
Georgia
[Posted in FML issue 3276]