This is probably old hat to most of you, but I was recently
converted and want to evangelize some of our newer, less experienced,
catechumens.
        Thus saith the Wise:
"When Haz-Abuminal saw that clipping the claws of the domestic ferret was
grievous, he pondered day and night for a year and a day.  After the year
and the day had passed, he rose, and, taking the ferret in his lap,
dropped three drops of linatone upon the belly [of the ferret], which,
perceiving that its navel had linatone, turned to lick.  Thus distracted,
the ferret heeded not that the claws were being trimmed, and there was
much rejoicing.  And when the claws were all neatly trimmed, the people
were amazed and astonished, saying, Who is this who, alone among mankind,
has tricked a ferret?"
 
        I'd recommend folks to have a vial of stiptich powder (available
at the pet store) when trimming: I frightened myself half to death once
by cutting my ferret's quick by accident.  Stiptich staunches the flow of
blood in case of an accident.  It's cheap and well worth the price, in
case you ever do mess up!
 
[Posted in FML issue 0928]