Having been informed by an educated source of the possibility that two
diplomats involved with the conflict have perhaps had their legs knocked
out from under them Glueball, our ace undercover reporter, engaged in
hidden surveillance.  We are happy to report that the confusion arose from
each side being issued hover-craft platforms for their choices of vehicular
bodies.  This kindness was extended by a third party nation involved in the
tense negotiations.
 
Commercial: Now, you , too, can learn cooking from the famous Kouri.  As
his show airs each week the famous chef, Kouri, will offer video tapes of
each show so that you never will forget his most famous cooking secrets.
Tape 1: "It's All in the Sauce": Learn how to make balnd foods like boiled
potatoes, shoelaces, or jellyfish so tasty that your family will rave.  To
pre-subscribe for these videos make this free phone call now: 1-800-...
 
Editoral statement for this station: We have been informed that the Kouri
Krew is planning to dive bomb our investigative reporter, Ashling with
water balloons and semi-hardened blobs of Nutrical.  Ashling has not
declared that she will seeking world domination; therefore if such actions
take place we have no choice but to turn the full attention of our empire
(Errrrrr, Media Empire) upon any who would so attack our personnel.
 
News Flash: Reports indicate that multiple households with ferrets have
recently acquired copies of texts on Medieval contests of honor.
Speculation abounds.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled
program.
 
News at 10: Ferret Aerobatics: In or out for a possible competition?  Can
ferrets stay within the box?
 
News at 11: Will ferrets appear on "Junkyard Wars"?
 
On tomorrow's Morning News: Should the public be concerned or elated that
leading ferrets are now studying genetic splicing?
 
Sukie Crandall, Editor in Cheap, Weasels Words Press, "All the news that
gives a fit"
 
P.S. Re:  Arid, Air-tight Resistant Panties:  Who told?!?
[Posted in FML issue 3300]