I will not bring Mommy's dates feminine hygiene products as welcome gifts.
 
I will not steal Mommy's flashcards and stash them behind the fridge the
night before her big test.
 
I will not clean Mommy's ears at 3 am no matter how dirty I think they are.
 
I will not crawl up Grandpa's pantleg to give him kisses no matter how
funny Grandma thinks it is.
 
I will not attempt to shred the sofa and then lay flat on my back ("I
wasn't doing anything") when Mommy catches me.
 
I will not try to ride the kitty, he doesn't like it.
 
I will not rearrange the clothes in Mommy's dresser to make a more comfy
sleeping place for myself.
 
I will remember that when guests bring bags into the apartment it doesn't
necessarily mean they have gifts for me.
 
Tea`
[Posted in FML issue 3166]