Hi Folks,
Some of you may remember the Glossary of Ferret Terms from my Hidey Hole
web page a few years ago. Its been long retired, but being part ferret I
kept it stashed away. This "call for terms" seemed like a good excuse to
redistribute it. The original Glossary of Ferret Terms was submitted to
the FML by Kimberly Burkard who gave me permission to post it on the web.
Along the way I added a couple of my own as well as some contributions
from a few web surfers. I've had to remove a few from one particular
contributor that stipulated that their definitions could not be
redistributed without their permission (and express written consent of
Major League Baseball :-)
Anyway, here's what's left. It's a little too long to make it into one
post so I'm sending it in 2 parts.
The numbers in brackets indicate the author. Contributors are listed at
the bottom. Enjoy.
BOTTLE BRUSH (1)
See Bright-eyed & Bushy-tailed
BRIGHT-EYED & BUSHY-TAILED (1)
Describes an excited ferret. The tail hairs stand on end and eyes
sparkle. Accompanied by dooks and the War Dance. Sometimes preceeding
the Bups.
BUPS (1)
Hiccups brought on by excitement.
CHOMP (1)
Unexpected meeting of flesh and ferret teeth. Often a compliment
(they think of you as a ferret) or enticement to play.
COW KILLING (1)
This act can be accomplished in a variety of methods by roving bands of
renegade ferrets. Often thought to be the reason that ferrets are
illegal in California.
COW TIPPING (1)
Sometimes a prelude to Cow Killing.
DANCE OF JOY (1)
See The War Dance.
DASH AND CACHE (1)
Quick grab of food, socks, keys, etc. and the mad dash to a hidey hole.
Can be accompanied by dooks and the War Dance.
DIRT (1)
Ultimate compliment a ferret can give. If they dig at your leg, feet,
arms, etc., you are being told that you are as good and dear as dirt.
Often accompanied by the Licker.
DOOK (1)
Happy chuckling sound a ferret makes.
DRAG RACING (1)
This takes place after the ferret has made good use of their litter box
or a favorite corner.
THE GOOD STUFF (1)
Translated from Ferretese. Refers to any delicacy such as raisins,
melon, Ferretone, cookies, ice cream, etc. The items are in short
supply and are guarded by hooman beans.
HIDEY HOLE (1)
The "secret" spot where a ferret hides all of their treasures. Often
inaccessible to all but ferrets. See Dash and Cache. Also known as
the Treasure Trove and Goodie Bin.
HOLE OF DISCOVERY (5)
Also known as Hole of Hades to hoomans. Areas that haven't been
ferret-proofed well enough and are inaccessible to hoomans. Ferrets
refuse to leave such holes until tempted out with the Good Stuff.
Contributors
1. Kimberly Burkard - Original Author
2. Me - Pat Smith (but I'm mostly just the gatherer/compiler/editor).
3. Rosalie Layton
4. Richard Helton
5. Jackie Hovey
7. Nanci & Clyde (he of much flatness)
[part 2]
Here's the rest.....
HOOMAN BEAN (2)
Large, bi-pedal, tail-less ferrets with suprisingly little fur, and
thin, sensitive skin.
THE LICKER (1)
A sign of affection. The ferret licks an area of exposed skin.
Sometimes accompanied by the Chomp.
PANCAKIN' (7)
See SpeedBumping.
THE PLACE (1)
Translated from Ferretese. This term applied to any place that is not
"home". Often applied to parks and vet offices.
RAISINS (1)
Ambrosia. Nectar of the Gods. See The Good Stuff.
SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY (1)
This term used by humans to describe letting ferrets sleep with them in
the same bed. See Chomp, Licker, and Dirt.
SOCKS (1)
These devices threaten the universe itself. They are known to
spontaneously create black holes sucking items into another universe.
This explains why a sock's mate is always missing. Ferrets are advanced
beings who are aware of when a sock is in this condition. They do their
best to stop the creation of black holes by chewing holes in the sock
which will stop the creation of any black holes. Ferrets become
aggitated if a sock in this condition is on a human's foot. The
unsuspecting human could be swept into another universe if not saved.
A Chomp may be the only course of action.
SOLE SEARCHING (4)
Actually, a hooman bean behavior. Ferrets, believing that insoles are
the gates that socks use to send stolen items out of this universe,
also try to steal as many insoles as possible. This prompts the hooman
response of Sole Searching.
SPEEDBUMPING (2, 7)
The act of lying prostrate on the floor. Often, while in the middle
of playing, a ferret will suddenly plop down on his/her stomach, legs
spread out in all directions, and let forth a great sigh, as if to say
"I'm bored!". The ferret will usually get up and resume whatever it
was doing within a few seconds.
WAR DANCE (1)
A wild dance consisting of the ferret arching their back, jumping up and
down stiff legged, swinging the head back and forth while dooking. Done
for many reasons such as victory, joy, enticement to play, etc. Known
by many names.
WATER WEASEL (3)
A ferret who runs to the shower door whenever they hear the shower
running and want to have a shower with you no matter how many times in
a day.
Contributors
1. Kimberly Burkard - Original Author
2. Me - Pat Smith (but I'm mostly just the gatherer/compiler/editor).
3. Rosalie Layton
4. Richard Helton
5. Jackie Hovey
7. Nanci & Clyde (he of much flatness)
--
Pat Smith
[log in to unmask]
[Posted in FML issue 2979]
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