In Restaurants:
 If people were ferrets they would...
 ... lick the air just as the food was being served.
 ... rub their faces on the table cloths after eating.
 ... poop only in the corners of the bathroom stalls.
 ... bring home their doggy bags and put them in a safe, dark place,
     other than the refrigerator.
 ... flop anywhere on the floor when they got tired.
 
In Movie Theaters:
 If people were ferrets they would...
 ... dig most of the popcorn out of the bag before actually eating a
     piece of it.
 ... stick their face into the drink cup, only to spray it about onto the
     people sitting beside them.
 ... hide pieces of the popcorn under various seats for safekeeping
     later.
 ... never really settle into one seat. Instead they would bop from place
     to place until the movie was practically over, and then fall asleep.
 
At Christmas:
 If people were ferrets they would...
 ... tear open everybody's packages and play with everything, only to
     stash it all later.
 ... stash the presents by running backwards and scooping them under
     their back legs for protection.
 ... walk all over the dining room table checking out each plate and
     helping themselves to the things they liked.
 ... go wild over raisin carrot salad, raisin pudding, and carrot cake
     (made with raisins of course!).
 
At Home:
 If people were ferrets they would...
 ... stash their clothes in the corners of their closets and never hang
     them up.
 ... roll around on their clothes before wearing them.
 ... sleep on their backs, curled over to one side with one arm in the
     air, and the end of their tongue poking out.
 ... sleep on top of their spouse, if they had one, but usually enough to
     cover the face of the person on the bottom.
 
At the Office:
 If people were ferrets they would...
 ... have all the office supplies piled into one corner.
 ... never receive phone calls, because the receiver would always be off
     the hook as it was stashed into the corner, under the desk.
 ... would take naps under the desk, where all the spare clothes you
     brought to work would be stashed.
 ... have bits of food hidden in each of their desk drawers.
 
In General:
 If people were ferrets they would...
 ... sniff each others behind to see if we liked each other or not.
 ... have sweet smelling behinds, but only in mating season.
 ... have band aids covering all the sores on their necks.
 ... be wiggling their behinds everytime they got excited.
 ... never be seen to wear clothing as they would always be wiggling out
     of them!
 
Betty and Her Blur O'Fur
[Posted in FML issue 3060]