This is in response to the anonymous poster who complained about not
receiving thank you's for their donations.  I am not intending this as
any kind of flame, no meanness is intended.  I am posting as myself so
you may respond to me if you wish.
 
First, in my opinion, when possible, any kindness should be answered with a
thank you.  The key is "when possible." If a person or shelter is so in
need of assistance that they post on the FML, asking complete strangers
for help, one must assume that their situation is dire.  And it is almost
certain you are not the only person who decides to help out.  In a case
like that, one must over-look an imagined slight, give benifit of the
doubt.  One must assume that it was by accident that a thank you was not
sent, and one cannot rule out the thought that, if a person has taken money
from strangers because they are so bad off, perhaps they haven't gotten
back on their feet enough to use even a small amount of that donated money
on postage, thank you notes, long distance charges, or even internet
access.  I wonder how long it has been since you made these gifts, but I am
not sure it matters all that much.  The fact is, in desperate situations,
things, people, and little courtesies are often over-looked, usually
accidentally, sometimes because it cannot be helped.  Rarely in desparate
situations are the rescuers over-looked on purpose.  Doesn't make sense.
 
As far as shelters go, you said, it is almost as if they "expect or rely on
donations..." Well, I'm not sure about the expect part, but of COURSE they
RELY on donations.  They are shelters!  And in my opinion, a donation to a
shelter only serves to make me closer to EVEN with them, paying off MY debt
of gratitude to THEM, for the work they do and the time they spend.  No
thank you is needed from a shelter who accepts a donation from me, because
no matter how much I give, I will always feel as though I owe these people,
these ferret angels, these protectors of life and happiness which I hold so
dear to my heart.  It is our duty, as people who DO hold those things dear,
to SUPPORT in any way we can.
 
I am sure the shelters or others would accept a donation from anyone, for
whatever reason they do it.  You said you were close to never sending
donations or help to people because you got no gratitude, which to me,
means you give, you help out, because you want someone to tell you thank
you, and if that is the case, you deserve it less than the person who
gives because it is the right thing to do and expects nothing in return.
 
All this aside, as I said at the beginning, I feel that when possible,
any kindness, great or small, should be answered with thanks.  And it is
entirely possible that I am wrong about you.  For whatever reason, you
HAVE, judging by your list, done a LOT for shelters and others on this list
who needed it.  That is commendable.  Keeping those things in mind, I would
like to take this time to thank you on behalf of all those ferrets who's
owners or protectors you have helped.  You deserve it.  You have earned
it.  Though you address your care-packages to shelters, and your checks
are made payable to people, ultimately, the gifts you have made go towards
the health, safety, and happiness of the fuzzies.  The people are capable
of thanking you themselves, and whether they will or will not, I leave up
to them.  But the ferrets can't, and I want to do it for them.  Thank you,
whoever you are, for those kindnesses.  Thank you.
 
Melissa Barnes
www.geocities.com/lostferrets
[Posted in FML issue 3155]