Q: "Bob!! What gives with ferrets stealing stuff...all the time?"
 
A: Just trying to meet their nut. (Cost of living, not me.)
 
Seriously, that's why.  Ferrets, as domesticated polecats, evolved a long
thin body and high metabolism.  This means that they have high energy
needs.  One behavioral mechanism that evolved in all carnivores to some
extent, but in the weasel group in particular, is the instinctual desire
to kill all possible prey and store it for future dining.  There are two
things at work here.  First, there is an instinctual need to store prey.
Depending on the animal, that instinct may be well developed or not.  For
example, in ferrets and other polecats and weasels, the instinct is VERY
well developed, but in most canids, it is not.  The second mechanism is the
killing of multiple prey, especially in enclosed spaces.  ALL carnivorous
animals have this instinct, but it is especially well developed in the
Carnivora.  We have all heard of "the fox in the hen house" or "a wolf in
the fold," right?  Both refer to those animal's propensity to kill all
easily caught prey, regardless of the ability to eat it all.  Quite
literally, a fox/cat/polecat will kill ALL the hens in a hen house that are
moving (movement seems to trigger the killing reflex).  A fox or cat might
take a few of the killed hens, but leave the rest to irritate the farmer.
The polecat, however, will attempt to take and store as many of the
carcasses as possible, or until it is caught and killed because the dummy
has fallen asleep in the middle of the carnage.
 
Modern ferret behaviorists believe this caching (or storage) behavior of
the polecat lives on in the domesticated ferret as toy stashing (the only
other explanation is the ferret thinks the toy is a baby ferret, but this
idea is discounted by behaviorists because infant caching is mostly a
female behavior, but toy stashing is universal).  Clearly, the ferret does
not consider the toy to be a food item, but still it stores them away
carefully.  I have found everything from socks to paper balls to toys
stuffed inside hidey holes and into corners.  I have also found large
amounts of food "tid bits," ranging from old chicken bones to stored kibble
to (yeech) chunks of chicken.  There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason
to it; each ferret seems to store away what they think is important.  BUT,
I have noticed, of the stored toys, those with a woolly texture seem to be
stored away most often.
 
A ferret will fool you.  I have often noticed my little beasts will run
over for a treat, take off, then return for another.  The little sneaks
are storing away the treats, not eating them!  But the plan sometimes
backfires, when another ferret finds the stash and eats it instead of
fighting the crowd for their own treat.  Mickey Moose LOVES chicken bones,
and will store them all carefully away as long as you keep handing them
out.  Once the supply dries up, he is off to hours of crunching in the
middle of his stash.  Sam Luc, being so much smaller than the other guys,
has a hard time competing for chicken bones, but knows where Mickey Moose
hides them.  He just waits until the coast is clear, then steals whatever
he wants.
 
You have to be careful about this behavior; the danger of the ferrets
stashing food is that it can get smelly and yeechy and bacteria can be
fruitful and multiply.  *MY* rule is, when it comes to foods that can turn
on you, only give as much as the ferrets will eat in your presence.  If
they take off and return faster than you think they could have eaten
something, consider it stored and stop the flow of goodies.  Periodically
inspect the hidey holes for nasties and remove them regardless of how many
complaints the ferrets give you in writing.
 
You might notice the occasional ferret which decides you finger or foot is
worth stashing away.  They will literally try and carry you off by your
finger or toe.  Some people have suggested they have confused the finger
with a baby ferret (the same thing can be said of the toy stashing).  but I
think they just see a hand as another ferret.  When I play with my ferrets,
they generally bite my wrist as if it was a neck and orient their bodies
as if my hand was a head.  I think a lot of the "ferret finger pulling"
is simply nothing more than vigorous play behavior (they pull each other
around by the neck) OR an attempt at toy stashing.  But who knows?  Maybe
they are just trying to hide you for a midnight snack....
 
Bob C and 16 Mo' Bob Stashers
[Posted in FML issue 3014]