Jodie, I cried as I read your letter to the list.  I cried for Jewel, but
mostly, I cried for you.  YOU ARE NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON!!!!!  You made a
mistake and everyone does.  Unfortunately, the price is high at times.  No
one with animals can say they haven't done or forgotten to do something
that ultimately led to a pet's misfortune in some way or another.  NO
ONE!!!  Many people need reminders about the dangers or fuzzies can
encounter during playtime.  We often become content and lazy during our
routine and string of good fortune.  Your letter, although excrutiatingly
painful to write AND to read, was open and honest and a good reminder to
ALL of us who have pets.  I can count dozens of times I've said to myself
"if only" and "how could I?" You'd think having over 100 animals would keep
me on my toes, but I've been forgetful or unthinking at times too.  And I
get over 100 e-mails a day........some are from people beating themselves
up over similar things.  These are good loving people.  And having
corresponded with you in the past, I know you're good and loving.  The only
reason we know how to ferret proof our homes is because we learned from
other people's mistakes and reminders.  Your sharing the loss of Jewel
through drowning may ultimately save the lives of some FML ferrets.  Thank
you for taking a risk and being honest.  I can only imagine how difficult
it was.
 
To share a personal experience which still makes me cry............... when
I lived in my condo I had a kitten named Smudge.  She was so funky looking,
that she was beautiful.  No one wanted her because of how she looked.  She
was so loving and sweet.  I took her and gave her to my husband.  He isn't
a cat person, but loved this little kitten like crazy.  He cried when I
mention her name.  THAT'S amazing for a military man.  Anyway, I was
pulling laundry out of the washing machine and shoving it into the
dryer....in a hurry to get to work.  I slammed the dryer shut and turned it
on high before racing off to shower.  I heard a couple thumps in the dryer,
but knew I'd also thrown in a pair of washed gym shoes (I never wash gym
shoes - it was a fluke), so I brushed the noise off as being the shoes
banging around.  After my shower I pulled the clothes out to fold them.
They had strange stains on them.  I couldn't for the life of me figure out
why.  When I reached the bottom of the dryer, there was Smudge.  Dead.  I
was crushed.  My husband and I cried for days.  I felt (and still feel) and
incredible amount of guilt.  I was mortified as I pictured my poor Smudge's
final moments.  I tried to convince myself that she died almost instantly
from the banging around, but that little voice inside still tells me she
died slowly from the intense heat of the dryer.  It's easy for people to
tell you that you're not a horrible person and that it was an accident.....
but believing you aren't is another thing.  Jodie, Jewel and Smudge have
already forgiven us.  We need to forgive ourselves.
 
I hope you FMLers don't think I'm a horrible stupid person, having
accidentally killed my Smudge.  But for those of you who think ferrets
can't get into dryers.  Think again.  I know people who have lost their
ferrets the same way I lost Smudge.  Also, ferrets love to burrow and sleep
in piles of laundry.  Do you take a headcount before you scoop up that pile
of clothes and toss it in the washing machine?  Just a thought.
 
Take care, everyone.
 
Kim Schilling and the Zoo
http://www.animalsforawareness.org
Animals for Awareness a USDA non-profit no-kill sanctuary
"Protection through Education"
Dedicated to the rescue of exotic animals
 
Come join our new Onelist!
Procyanid_Viverrid
http://www.onelist.com/community/Procyonid_Viverrid
For the raccoon, coati, kinkajou, ringtail cat, genet, civet,
and binturong lovers!
[Posted in FML issue 2985]