1. This following is an answering email to a person I shall call "Dawn"
who has querried me (as shown below) about the special home-made ferret
food that is manufactured at the FNW Research and Rehabilitation Facility
here in my little wooden hut on Poverty Rock, called by some, Mercer
Island, Washington. LUMPS is a primary food, in liquified form, cooked and
finely pulverized, that is fed and greatly appreciated by my little herd of
Frettchens here at the FNW ferret farm. This LUMPS is supplemented by hard
kibbled food on alternate days so that the ferret's teeth are kept as clean
as possible. This recipe is available to anyone who can follow the
suggestions given below for Dear Dawn.
Dear Dawn,
2. Sorry to be so late in answering you, but my cotton-picker computer was
being a schnook there for a while. Now I got it back to working again
after a bris, (ouch) so here I am.
3. To answer your question, LUMPS, or Lipinski's Ultimate Mustelid Porridge
Soup, is essentially meat/vegetable soup that is the prime food for all of
our ferrets here at the FNW shelter as well as for our breeder ferrets and
for our little female mink. We keep her as a mascot, even though she's
very aggressive and will take you finger off with one bite if she gets the
chance. She's very dangerous. Oh, and I almost forgot; my pet crow
"Forty" sure likes it too.
4. We have never had a case of ECE here and I think it may be due to the
LUMPS as a primary food for the ferrets. This is in spite of the fact that
we're always getting in new ferrets into my shelter. And sometimes they
are in pretty bad shape. The LUMPS helps very much to rehabilitate them
and bring them back into good health and put on more weight and a good
thick coat. They are then much more adoptable compared to their condition
when they first come to me.
5. The LUMPS is definitely very economical when one compares it to Totally
Ferret (TF) and it has many more healthful ingredients than does TF. I
suggest you compare the ingredients of both to see just how inferior TF
really is. I am planning to do that soon myself and post this comparison
on the web, so people can see for themselves the superiority of LUMPS and
the "cheweasels" I call LUMPSCHEWS that I also manufacture for the ferrets
to chew.
6. The big drawback is that it takes about 2 hours every day or so to
prepare, cook, and feed it in old tunafish cans to the 20 or so ferrets
Also you have to become good friends with a meat cutter supervisor at the
local big supermarket so that you can get the free meat that is the major
constituent of the soup. Also, if you have some friends that go the the
food banks, your friends, they will give you foods they don't want,
including meats, various fruits, potatoes, and all kinds of vegetables.
I've even gone to Godfather's Pizza and picked up the day-old pizzas
they've saved for me and have used some of the pizza ingredients for the
ferret soup. Shucks, these ferrets here will just about eat anything
(inclucing squirrels, pidgeons, chickens, and baby mice/rats).
7. There is a 13-page pamphlet that I've prepared that describes just how
to go about gathering all the ingredients (most of them you likely already
have in your kitchen cupboards) and it also goes into my philosophy of why
cooked and finely pulverized particulate vegetables, fruits, and
carbohydrates are especially good for ferrets and keeps their intestines
very clean. I also feed the ferrets special digestive system bacteria to
aid in the assimilation of the soup, since food goes thourgh them very
quickly, compared to a human's Gastrointestinal tract. These bacteria give
the Azerbijanians longevities of over 100 years of age as a racial ethnic
group, so if these "bugs" give long life to the goat herding Azerbijanians,
then they should also help the ferrets too. Is that understandable to you,
or is the gulf of reasoning there too, too wide?
8. So, if you don't mind, here's what I'd like to do for you to get the
LUMPS pamphlet of 13-pages into your hands ASAP: Please send me $3.50 in
stamps or a check (made out to Ferrets NorthWest FNW) along with your
CLEARLY PRINTED mailing address and I'll send the LUMPS pamphlet to you in
a big brown clasp envelope. OK?
9. PS. If you'd care to make a small donation to FNW in addition to the
$3.50 bucks I will gladly kiss, kiss and kiss both of your opistenars,
which, by the way, is what most gentlemanly Poles do anyway upon meeting
a lady. (Doesn't apply to guys.)
Again, please accept my apology for being tardy on answering your querry.
Edward Lipinski, Ferret Endowment for Rehabilitation, Research,
Education & Training Society, North West. aka F.E.R.R.E.T.S.,NW, or more
simply, FNW., establ. 1981 and still going on and on and on. You know,
like that little bunny beating the tin drum in the battery commercial?
On Tue, 28 Dec 1999 18:33:30 -0600 "xxxxxxx" <[log in to unmask]> writes:
>Hi Ed! I got your email address from someone on the FML. What is
>this LUMPS stuff exactly? I have four ferrets, three recovering
>from ECE and two of those three need to gain weight. Please email
>me back some info! Thanks much! Dawn
[Posted in FML issue 2914]
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