Who is Bob C? (Check all those that apply)
 
___a) Like the jackalope, a figment of the imagination.  He doesn't
      really exist, but is manufactured from leftover parts found in
      abandoned taxidermy shops combined with corner scrapings chiseled
      off tile floors from well-populated ferret shelters.
___b) Not anyone you would want to moon you; at least not without proper
      safety precautions and OHSA approved eye wear.
___c) A ruggedly handsome irresistible wise-cracking small-red-car-driving
      tuxedoed loner who, in the service of his country, uses advanced
      technology and impressive physical prowess to defeat the ferreted-out
      forces of evil.  That's Bob.  Bob C.
___d) The result of Dr. Demento's 30-year evil experiment gone awry.
___e) Doesn't "C" stand for the 3rd clone in the series?
___f) After switching from Freudian to Jungian therapy, even HE doesn't
      know.
___g) A cynical old, worn out intellectual prostitute, but with a huge soft
      heart of gold.
___h) Zardoz's evil and cranky twin.
___i) Proof you should wear a helmet when told to go climb a rock in
      Yosemite.
___j) The inventor of Soylent Green (green referring to the uniform of the
      CaCaLand Fishing Gestapo and Evil Henchmen Society).
___k) Not at all the person seen in recent Post Office wanted posters, even
      though there is a strong slight resemblance and the same alias.
___l) !trams si eh skniht ohw toidi cixelsyd rehtona tsuJ
___m) The inventor of the 2 minute Chicken Gravy burp.
___n) Evidence you can survive three accidental lobotomies.
___o) The same guy who has worn out the phrase, "I fert in your general
      direction!"
___p) If you are a beautiful bimbo with few moral standards, I am a
      Hollywood producer.
___q) The guy who, back in the sixties, started the rumor that Paul died.
___r) The type of guy that saves green M&Ms "for later."
___s) A guy so exciting he had to take up collecting postcards just to
      remain legal.
___t) The C stands for "Crazy."
___u) By day, just an ordinary new-age sensitive guy; but by night, the
      irresistible Bob C, Science Gigolo.
___v) The only person left in America who doesn't watch Wrestlin', Jerry
      Springer, or golf and fishing shows.
___w) Still thinks "Private Ryan" was better than that fruity Shakespeare
      thing.
___x) Wore Hawaiian shirts before, during, after, and before they were
      popular.
___y) Is actually proud of being a "crowd extra" in "The Attack of the
      Killer Tomatoes."
___z) In truth, I'm "Bob the C," but if the mob ever found me, I'd be
      history.
 
Mail in your answers with $50 to "Who is Bob C?" PO Box 2000, New Age
Science, Misery USA.  Void were prohibited by sanity.
 
Bob C and 16 Mo' Genetic Accidents
[Posted in FML issue 2974]